


Must Have Been The Wind

by misshudson3



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety Attacks, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-05-12 12:25:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 30,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misshudson3/pseuds/misshudson3
Summary: Katya is the 23 year old painter who has a haunting past. Trixie is the 21 year old anxiety filled girl with the broken will to live. They live in the same apartment complex. What happens when two broken girls meet while doing laundry? A friendship and bond forms. But both have secrets that keep them from fighting for a better life. Both have hangups that they think are too big to be forgiven.OrKatya fears for Trixie and wants to make her happy in anyway that she can. Trixie locks herself away from Katya, mentally and emotionally. It is enough to stop Katya from fighting to show Trixie how beautiful she really is?There are mentions of abuse, self-esteem issues, self-hate, self-harm, body shaming, and drug abuse in this story.I do not own any of these lovely characters💕💕This story is based off of the song that it shares its name with. Must have been the wind by Alec Benjamin





	1. Katya

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya this is my second fic. It is different from my first one in a few ways.It's still a love story but not as lighthearted. Once again, the story is told from Trixie's and Katya's POV. I still hope you guys enjoy it.

Katya's POV

"Day one in my new apartment. Day one of being on my own. Day one of my true independence. I think we got this Red." I looked down and picked up my cat. I was 23 and finally making the big step, living on my own. My new apartment was small I'll admit that, but it was big enough that Red and I could be more than comfortable. I walked and looked out of the window that over looked the city. "Red, you know I think we are going to be okay. Yeah we are far from home but I think we can make a real life for ourselves. Don't you think so?" I held Red up and looked in his eyes, he looked unimpressed. "Hey! Don't look at me like that. I know you will miss your fuck buddy from down the street but maybe you can find a new one huh?" I smiled at his nonchalant attitude and put him down as he started to wiggle. He walked away and disappeared behind a mountain of unpacked boxes. I stood with my hands on my hips and looked around, "I'm doing it. I really am." I tied my hair back and got to work. 

After what seemed like hours, I finally had unpacked, 1/3 of my stuff. My mom told me not to pack my whole room plus but well what if I missed something? I wasn't gonna take a plane back to Boston, that was just out of the question. Flying is not my thing. I managed to unpack my clothes, shoes, bathroom items and feminine products. The bed covers and pillows could wait until tomorrow, if the sofa was good enough for Red, it was good enough for me. Red only likes the best things in life. I walked into the bathroom and started the shower. I waited while the water got hot. As I waited, I looked through my phone. I hadn't picked my phone up in hours, my friends probably thought I was dead. I had five missed calls from Violet, ten from Sharon, four from Alaska and even some from my mom. I sighed and called Violet. She answered immediately.

"Katya, oh my goddess are you okay?! We all have been calling you!"

"Yeah I see that Vi. Look I'm okay, I've been getting everything settled," I looked at the piles and piles of boxes making their way all around my new apartment. "Well part of everything. I am okay and healthy."

"Well now I know you're lying you whore, you are never healthy. You are a bag of bones with a thin layer of pale protection. You have no way of being healthy. You are a chain smoking hooker ma'am." I wheezed in laughter and shook my head. 

"It may not be healthy but it is indeed fun. I can tell you that." 

"Oh yeah I bet. But really Kat, how are you with being on your own?" Vi sounded concerned, which wasn't new. Ever since my drug relapse a few years ago, my friends have been watching over me like hawks. I wished they would just relax sometimes but shit, I don't think it would ever happen. I didn't blame anyone for me falling apart. But everyone blamed the guy I was dating, he was abusive and just nasty to me and everyone. "Hello? Earth to Kat?" Vi's voice pulled me from my thoughts. 

"I'm okay I was looking at something sorry. But Vi, I am okay. Please tell everyone I'm fine because I know it was you who set off the alarms mama." I smiled and put my fingers on the necklace that made its home on my neck. It was given to me by Violet, before I went to rehab. Vi had been my best friend for so long. The two people hurt the most by me hurting myself, were my mom and Violet.  I was determined to keep my head straight this time. "Listen, we both know I still struggle but at least I'm fighting and just not giving in. I've been clean for three years now." 

"I know, I know. I just really miss you and I can't just come check on you if you don't answer your phone. You are so far away physically and well I'm afraid your emotional state will drift away from me too." I could hear the black haired girl sniffle over the phone. 

"I wish I could hug you Vi. But you need to get some sleep, you have work tomorrow. 

" I could use a hug but I will settle for an 'I love you' from you."

"I love you Vi." 

"I love you too Kat. And please give Red a kiss for me."


	2. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nah I understand. I am terrible with people 100%. How about we keep each other company while we wait?" She smiled and nodded. We talked for an hours while she held Red. We laughed and talked about the crazy lady in room 301. The red head who never really came out but all the floors knew her. She was smiling until she got a text message.
> 
> "Oh no I gotta go Katya."

Katya's POV

After three weeks of sleeping on a sofa and unpacking crap, I was done. I hadn't been out of the apartment in what felt like forever, when really I went out to walk Red every night, yes I walk my cat. Wanna fight? As I looked through my clothes, I saw that I needed to wash. I was out of clean leggings and t-shirts, I was really tired of jackets and jeans. I walked around my room and gathered pieces of clothing to wash, I filled two baskets. I remember the landlady telling me that there was a laundry room downstairs that was open to all tenants. Maybe I could make a friend or two. The only friends I had now where the pizza guy and the lady who made my coffee every morning when I went to Starbucks. I looked around my room for anything else. "Hmmm, I think that is it. I can always just wash again another day if need be." As I walked to the door, Red rubbed against my leg. "Awe buddy you wanna go? Well it is dark out and you haven't been out in a day or two." I leaned down and hooked his leash onto his collar. "Let's start our new adventure."

It was quiet and empty in the halls, which both Red and I loved. I was able to stack the baskets onto one another and make it down stairs without breaking something, one victory per day. I walked into the laundry room and immediately loved it. It reminded me of the retro laundry mats that my mom would drag me to before dad decided to get mom her own for her birthday. What a great gift. He got her a dishwasher for their 40th anniversary, get you a man like that. One who buys you household items. I set my baskets down and put Red in a near by chair as I put my clothes in the wash. I plugged my headphones in and hopped on the washer. I let the rocking of the washer and Lady Gaga's voice slowly guide me into a world away from the one I was in. I closed my eyes and leaned back. After a few minutes I felt a tap on my leg that made me jump. I opened my eyes to see a pink haired beauty standing in front of me with Red in her arms.

"Hi, is he yours? You are the only other person here so I thought I'd ask. And if not I am so sorry." She looked down at Red as he purred in her arms.

"Oh no he's mine. Was he bothering you?"

"No no well yes kinda. But I think he just wanted some attention." She sat him in my lap and slowly backed away, she looked sad.

"You can hold him some more if you want." The smile on her face made my heart skip a beat. She slowly picked him back up and cuddled him close to her. "Huh. He usually doesn't like new people. He would rip my boyfriend apart."

"Well maybe he prefers females. A lady's cat." She held Red up in her face. "Are you fella? Are you a lady's cat. Yes yes you are." I looked at her and smiled. Her brown eyes locked with mine. "Oh um I'm Beatrice but please call me Trixie."

"I am Yekaterina but please call me Katya. And that little guy you are holding is Red Maximum Million the first or just Red for short." She laughed and looked at Red.

"Well that is some name and so is yours Katya."

"That is what happens when you are from Russian. Long names that no one can even dream to pronounce."

"Heh I am from Milwaukee so I can't relate to that at all." She smiled softly and turned her attention back to Red.

"So Trixie why did you come here so late?" I looked at my phone and saw that it was 3:30 am.

"Well I don't do good with people. It is usually packed in here and I don't want to make a fool out of myself or anything. I know that probably sounds silly."

"Nah I understand. I am terrible with people 100%. How about we keep each other company while we wait?" She smiled and nodded. We talked for hours while she held Red. We laughed and talked about the crazy lady in room 301. The red head who never really came out but all the floors knew her. She was smiling until she got a text message.

"Oh no I gotta go Katya."

"Are you okay Trixie? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah yeah my boyfriend is looking for me. I left to do get things done while he slept." She handed me Red and got her stuff. "It was nice meeting you both."

"You too Trixie. Hey can I get your number? You are the only person here that I've actually talked to and it feels nice." She looked unsure and slowly took my phone. She put her number in it and gave it back to me. I pulled her into a quick hug. "See you around Trix."

"Yeah heh you too Katya. Bye" She walked out and just like that she was gone from my sight but not my mind.

 


	3. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I took the elevator to my apartment as I listened to music. Preparing myself for whatever was to come. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace I had. As I stepped off the elevator, my steps became heavy. I slowly opened the door. I walked to the kitchen without turning on the light.

Trixie's POV

I took the elevator to my apartment as I listened to music. Preparing myself for whatever was to come. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace I had. As I stepped off the elevator, my steps became heavy. I slowly opened the door. I walked to the kitchen without turning on the light.

"Where the fuck were you?" The voice made my blood run cold.

"I left you a note saying I was going to wash clothes. You know I don't like going when people are there."

"Don't tell me what I know Trixie. I hope you didn't mess up my clothes like you messed up dinner earlier." I heard him get up out of his chair and my body froze.

"No I made sure to wash it like you like it. Not too much soap and warm water on a light cycle." I turned around and he was in my face. He grabbed my face and looked me in my eyes.

"Good girl. At least you remember something." He tighten his grip, causing pain to run through my body. "But don't you dare leave without waking me up and telling me where the hell you are going. You got that?" I nodded my head and he grabbed harder. "What was that?"

"I understand Mike." He gave me a sloppy kiss and let go of my face.

"Good. I'm about to get ready for work and remember I get off at 4am so you can just make dinner for yourself. I will get something to get on the way home." I smiled at him.

"Of course babe." I went to the fridge and grabbed his lunch. "Here you go"

"That's a girl. Tying to make up for dinner from last night." He looked at me and his eyes ran down my body. "Although I will show you how you can truly make it up to me when I get home." He winked at me and walked into the bathroom to get ready. I let go of a long breathe and leaned against the counter.

As Mike got ready, I stayed out of his way, as always. "Alright I'm leaving Trixie. Behave yourself while I'm gone. And try to get something done around the house alright." He kissed my cheek and grabbed my ass. He walked out of the door with a smile on his face. As soon as the door shut, I fell to my knees. I crawled to the bed and laid down. I cried myself to sleep, thinking of how it all went so wrong so fast. But those thoughts were too much to handle and I just didn't have the energy for my demons today. My eyes slowly closed and the tears slowly stopped.


	4. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unknown(5:00am): Hey I wanted to text you so you had my number
> 
> unknown(5:15am):It's Katya by the way. Cat lady with the Russian name lol. 
> 
> unknown(5:25am): Sorry I'm lame and a weirdo who can't properly communicate. But I hope you slept well last night. Hope to talk soon.

Trixie's POV

I opened my eyes and immediately regretted it. My head was pounding from crying. "Uh shit. I need a shower or a drink. Ugh or both." I let my head fall back on the pillow and looked at my phone. I had a few texts. Some from my best friend Kim, her girlfriend, Naomi, my sister Farrah. my friend Shea, and three from an unknown number. I clicked on the message.

unknown(5:00am): Hey I wanted to text you so you had my number

unknown(5:15am):It's Katya by the way. Cat lady with the Russian name lol.

unknown(5:25am): Sorry I'm lame and a weirdo who can't properly communicate. But I hope you slept well last night. Hope to talk soon.

I smiled at the simple and odd texts. Even though I'd only met her once, I wanted to get to know Katya. Although if she found out how weak I was she probably wouldn't want anything to do with me. I thought about what to say. It shouldn't be this hard to reply to text messages but it was. I struggled to know what to say and how.

me(11:40am): Hello Cat lady. I am sorry I am just replying, I was asleep and I would like to inform you that I slept well and I hope you did the same. I also hope you have an amazing day. Xoxo

After I texted Katya back I dragged myself out of bed and jumped in the shower. The hot water felt good, so good. I closed my eyes and let the water run over me. As the water ran over me, so did my thoughts. I may have been born a blonde but that doesn't mean I was dumb. I know that Mike was cheating. I could smell her cheap perfume and the lipstick on his collar wasn't my shade of pink. Leaving is hard, I've thought about it. But no matter what how bad he treated me, my feet just wouldn't move. I was like a dog on a chain and the chain choked me whenever I went to far. I was afraid of being yanked back by that chain.

I finished my shower and decided to start my day. I brushed my long pink hair. It was always a mess after a hot shower. It got fluffy and just terrible, in my mind I always looked like some poodle whose owner went crazy with some hair dye. Since I had the whole day to myself, I wanted to do something to free myself a little. I pulled out my phone and looked through my contacts, all of my friends worked so it was a slim possibility any of them would want to do anything. I kept scrolling until I reached the newest entry, 'Katya'. My finger hovered over her name, I didn't know what she would be doing or anything. She could be working or out with her boyfriend. Just as I was moving my finger and pacing around the room, I tripped over one of Mike's shoes. I felt a pain under my chest, I looked down and saw that my finger hit the call button. Before I could end the call I heard a voice, "Hello". I wanted to die immediately.

" Uh hi Katya."

"Hey Trix. What's up?" I didn't wanna say that I accidentally called her because that is just dumb. But of course with my luck, it happened.

"Um nothing much I was kinda bored, you know?" She chuckled softly.

"I can get that," she was quiet for a bit but I could hear her moving around. "Would you want to come over? We have to get to know each other and I'm sure Red misses all the attention." A slow blush found its way to my face. She was inviting me to her apartment.

"Uh I don't wanna be a bother Katya."

"Trixie if you were gonna be a bother I wouldn't invited you silly. Now come down to see me, no question about it. My apartment number is 203. Don't keep me waiting cutie." She ended the call with a giggle before I could say anything. I groaned and got up from the floor. I kicked Mike's shoe. Even when he was gone, he was fucking with me. I looked through my closet when it hit me. She called me cutie. Did she really think I was cute? No, I must have been hearing things. No one would see me as a cutie. I shook the thoughts from my head as I looked for something to wear. I decided on a pink skirt and a white sweater paired with pink sneakers. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and made my way to the elevator. I tried to control my breathing as I descended to the floor below my own. I walked out of the elevator and found Katya's apartment. I took a deep breathe and knocked on the door before I could tell myself no. She opened it almost instantly, with a smile on her face. I looked at her and decided she had to be the most beautiful girl ever. She was slim but had the right amount of hmm 'padding' in the right places. She was wearing shorts and a big shirt that hung off her shoulder. I could see a red strap and I wondered if it matched my face in this moment. "Well hello there miss. I'm glad to see I wasn't stood up." She pulled me into a hug and giggled. "Come in come in." I smiled and walked into the apartment. The walls were red and everything else seemed to be black. She noticed me looking around. "The landlady said I could paint as long as I bought everything and didn't fuck anything up, which I didn't. Painting is my life." I looked around more and my eyes stopped on a huge canvas.

"Are you a painter?" Duh of course she is you dummy. I kicked myself mentally.

"Yes, I went to school for it. I am working on a few pieces now. That's actually what I was doing when you called." I felt a knot form in my stomach.

"Oh gosh Katya. I'm so sorry, I should go."

"Ha, no no I needed a break. Please stay and make yourself at home. Would you like anything to drink?"

"Do you have strawberry lemonade?" She put her finger on her chin.

"You know, I actually do. It is homemade I hope that is okay." She walked into the kitchen. "My grandmother taught me how to make a lot of stuff and it just stuck." She put ice in a glass and poured the lemonade over it. She grabbed a few snacks and made her way over to me. She handed me the glass and I took a sip, it was like liquid heaven.

"Katya tell your grandmother I said thank you. This is so good."

"Sure thing. That will be the first thing I tell her when I die." Katya sipped her lemonade without even batting an eyelash.

"Katya I am so sorry."

"It is okay love. You had no idea. We just met." I held my head down and looked into the cup. Katya put her hand on my knee and softly rubbed circles into it. "Hey hey, you're to pretty too hold your head down. When you're around me I don't want too see you look down okay? Or is the floor and your shoes more interesting than me?" I looked at her and shook my head. "Good, now we are gonna watch movies and eat until we can't anymore." Katya got up and walked to her TV, I missed her hand on my knee. She looked through a box of movies and pulled out a strange looking movie I had never seem before. "This is called Contact. You will hate it but if you make it through it once with me, I will love you forever."

"Is it bad enough that your love is what must be offered to get someone to watch it?" She smiled at me without answering. After she put the movie on, she grabbed a blanket and sat back down next to me. After twenty minutes of the movie, I decided I hated it but Katya seemed so into it so I continued to watch it. I started falling asleep 40 minutes in. Katya saw me and put my head on her shoulder, I was thankful. I slowly drifted off to sleep with Katya on my mind. I was at peace.

Katya moved a piece of my hair out of my face. I smiled at her and hugged her. "I am so happy we are friends. I really needed a new friend who lived here. All my other friends live so far away." She smiled at me sweetly. She moved her hand to my face and her smile slowly faded. Her eyes grew dark and her features harsh. "Ka-Katya are you okay?" There was fear in my voice. She squeezed my face and anger filled her eyes.

"You deserve all that happens. All that you get, you deserve."

"Katya, what are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"You're wrong. You need to be better, you are garbage Beatrice." I felt tears burn my eyes, which made a smile grow on Katya's face. "All you are good at is crying Beatrice," she hissed. Her words burned my skin and my heart.

"I am sorry Katya, I'm sorry." I was crying now and trying to pull her hand from my face, trying to break away.  I felt something shake me.

"Trixie, Trix, Trix wake up! It's Katya wake up. Babe come on wake up for me." I open my eyes and saw Katya looking at me with fear in her eyes, the opposite of the dream. "Hey are you okay?" I moved from her and got up to put on my shoes.

"I have to go Katya." She got up and walked over to me.

"Hey Trix. Talk to me, what's wrong? Did I do something?"

"No no I'm okay. I have stuff to do back at my place. My boyfriend will be coming home soon and I have to be there." I was lying. I looked at my phone and it was only 6pm. She touched my shoulder and I tensed up. Katya looked at me and moved her hand. "Thanks for having me over, I enjoyed myself."

"Yeah sure thing. Do me a favor and lock the door when you leave." She picked up Red, turned off the TV and disappeared into what I would say is her room. I wanted to go after her and explain but the slamming of her door made my feet stay glued to the spot I was in. I walked out of her apartment and pressed the button to go up on the elevator. I held myself with both my arms, just as always. I always had to hold my world with two hands because I was so scared that one hand wouldn't be strong enough. But now two hands were just as weak as one. The elevator stopped and I ran inside my apartment. I locked myself in the bedroom and began to cry. Hot tears ran down my cheeks and the darkness took over.


	5. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey it's my job. Without me and the rest of the crew you would fall apart. But maybe try to give her time first and then ask her what is up? You can't help everyone and sometimes even a person who wants help can't ask because they never know how to ask. Just be patient okay?"
> 
> "You're right. She told me she struggles with her anxiety so maybe meeting a new person was too much?"

Katya's POV

I stared at the painting on the ceiling and ran the events of the evening through my head. Trixie seemed so on edge when she first got here, but I made it my mission to put her at ease. Everything seemed okay. Sitting on the sofa and watching what people say is the worse movie ever, but I didn't care. I didn't care because she seemed finally relaxed. When I looked over and saw her fighting sleep, I laid her head on me. Comfort was the only thing I wanted her to feel around me, but somehow that didn't seem possible. Her cries and pleads replayed in my head.

"I am sorry Katya, I'm sorry," the words screamed in my head making my heart hurt. She sounded so afraid of me when all I did was be kind to her. I felt her tears fall on my neck and felt her body shaking. I had called her name and shook her for what felt like forever until she finally opened her eyes, and her eyes showed how broken she was. I wanted to help, I wanted to show her that it was okay to relax. I looked at my clock and saw that it was 12am. I picked up my phone and decided to call Violet, blood sucking leeches don't sleep.

"Hello?" Vi sounded wide awake, which I was happy about.

"Hey Vi. How are you?" I knew I must have sounded off, because I sounded off even to myself.

"I'm good. Just finished taking off my makeup. You sound kinda down Kat. What's up?" I thought carefully about my answer and sighed.

"I met a girl."

"Oh Kat! That is great. What is her name?"

"We are just friends silly well I thought we were friends. Her name is Trixie. She lives in the same building as me. I met her at the laundry room downstairs."

"Awe I'm sorry babe. Wait why did you say you thought you guys were friends?"

"She left out of no where. We were watching Contact and she had a nightmare I think. She was crying and saying sorry to me. I woke her up and she freaked out." Vi chuckled softly.

"I would cry too if you made me watch that awful train wreak. In her nightmare you probably had her strapped to a chair with her eyes taped open, making her watch Contact on a loop." We both laughed at her distasteful joke.

"Hey! You told me we would never bring up my dark sexual fantasies ever again!" I laughed and finally felt a little better. "Thank you Vi, you are always here for me."

"Hey it's my job. Without me and the rest of the crew you would fall apart. But maybe try to give her time first and then ask her what is up? You can't help everyone and sometimes even a person who wants help can't ask because they never know how to ask. Just be patient okay?"

"You're right. She told me she struggles with her anxiety so maybe meeting a new person was too much?" Violet hummed in agreement. We talked until she heard me yawn.

"Hey you should get some sleep. It is 4am and you have that interview tomorrow. Which you need to remember to wake up for and also call me after to let me know how to went."

"I will, I promise. Thank you so much for talking to me. I love you whore."

"I love you too Kat." I blew Vi a kiss through the phone and ended the call. I turned over to face the window that looked out to the city and let the hum of the cars down below and Red's purring put me to sleep.


	6. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Trixie?" I turned around to see blue eyes staring at me.
> 
> "Hi Katya." I looked down at my feet as I played with the basket in my hands.
> 
> "How are you feeling?" She smiled and I kicked myself in my head. She was so beautiful and kind to me for no reason.
> 
> "Oh I'm okay. How are you?" I wasn't okay, I was fully lying through my crooked teeth.

Trixie's POV  
I was awoken by the smell of beer and that cheap perfume. I felt a weight on me and then a sloppy kiss. Mike was home. He grabbed my face and made me kiss him back. I could taste the beer on his lips and it made me want to vomit. I knew what was to come next and I was happy he never lasted longer than five minutes. I turned my head to face my clock on the bedside table, 5:30am. I waited until he was finished and never took my eyes off of the clock, 5:35 on the dot. He rolled off of me and kissed my cheek. I waited until he fell asleep and went to shower. I washed him off of me and whoever he was with, the hot water burning my skin and burning away him. After an hour in the shower, I walked to wake Mike. "Michael I am going to the store. We are out of coffee." He opened his eyes and groaned before rolling on his side and going back to sleep. I walked to the kitchen and poured the coffee in the trash. I didn't want him to know I was lying but I needed to get out of the house. I knew he wouldn't say no to coffee. I grabbed my keys and the trash then made my way out of the door. The cool morning air hit my face and it was like a tiny drop of peace.

I had an hour to waste. Mike left for work at seven and I didn't want to be around him right now. Usually I could handle him in the morning, grouchy and moody. But today, I felt more fragile than usual. I got in my car and took the long drive to the other side of town, just to get coffee. I turned on music and jammed to " _Jolene_." I made sure to hit all the notes and sing the right words. I wish I could say I relate to song, but I didn't at all. I wanted another woman to take Mike away from me so I didn't have to deal with him. That sounded amazing to me, but I had no hope it would happen. Yeah Mike was handsome, but he didn't have the personality to match it at all. He was loud and gross. The thing is, he wasn't always like this. We met when I was in 10th grade in high school and he was in the 11th. Star football player who couldn't get anyone else because he was an asshole.

It all started one day after school. I was bleeding from having my head slammed against a locker. Getting bullied was a day to day thing for me, at home and at school. I was safe no where really. Mike walked over to me and handed me a tissue. "You look like you could use this." I looked up and was surprised to see who was talking to me. I took it and wiped the blood away.

"Thanks"

"No problem I'm Michael Ramble. You're Trixie right?" He sat next to me and I was shocked he knew my name.

"Yeah Trixie Mattel, and I know who you are. You are a grade above me. And you're also in my math class." He smiled nervously.

"Yeah that's me. Hey I know this is random but would you wanna I don't know, go see a movie or something? If not that's totally cool. I just you know wanted to ask." He looked at me and at that moment I saw how handsome he was. Strong jawline, nice shaggy brown hair, nice lips and hazel eyes.

"You want to go out with me?" I laughed in disbelief, he looked confused and smiled. "Okay I guess that would be cool." The weeks following that day were amazing. Mike took me on random dates that were fun and just awesome. He bought me flowers, candy, and teddy bears. The bullying at school stopped and I finally had a safe place. After two months of going out, Mike asked me to be his girlfriend and of course I said yes. Even though my friends told me not to. They said he had some type of reason for being nice that he wasn't saying. I didn't care at the time though, I was safe at school. No one dared to touch me or say anything bad about me. But life at home wasn't the best. One night after my step father came home drunk and beat me in another fit of rage, I called Mike. He rushed over to get me and took me to his house. It was my last year of high school and he wanted to protect me. Every day after school I went to his house and then after I was done with high school, he asked me to move with him. I wanted to get away from my family so I said yes. We packed up our lives and moved twelve hours away from the city we knew.

That was all three years ago. When we moved, it all went down hill. He started to tell me if I loved him, I would sleep with him. After three months of him pushing, I gave in. After that, it got worse. He started to yell and tell me I needed to lose weight. I needed to do more around the house and stop being lazy. Each day I lost a piece of myself, of who I thought I was. I wish I could leave but who would want me now? I shook my head and locked the past back away in a box. Rain started to fall and so did my tears. God, I cried so much it seemed. After another ten minutes of driving, I pulled into the parking lot of the store. I sat looking at the entrance of the store, I hated going in public. It wasn't that I hated people or anything, I just thought that maybe they saw all my imperfections because I had so many. I finally stepped out of my car after five more minutes of regretting all decisions that lead up to this point. I entered the store and began to get things I knew I would need later on this week. As I walked down and looked through the coffee selection, I heard a familiar voice that made my heart beat faster.

"Hey Vi. I wanted to call and tell you about the job babe." It was Katya, she was here. Shit, I hadn't talked to her since I ran out of her house for no freaking reason. She sounded as if she was a row away, which I was thankful for. I continued to look at the coffee while listening. "Yeah I got the job. I start this upcoming Monday." Katya laughed and I could hear the smile on her face. She wasn't missing me, but then again why would she? I still tuned back in to see if she would say anything about me. "No she hasn't but it's okay," there was a bit of sadness in her voice. "No no I am okay I promise. Yeah I miss you too Violet, you have no idea." My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, I held onto the display of different coffees. I heard Katya say goodbye to the person on the phone as I made my way to pay for my stuff, I had to leave now. I stood in line and looked down at my phone to check the time. It seemed like the world was falling apart and I was just waiting for it all to just crush on me. I heard steps behind me and then someone say my name. "Trixie?"  I turned around to see blue eyes staring at me.

"Hi Katya." I looked down at my feet as I played with the basket in my hands.

"How are you feeling?" She smiled and I kicked myself in my head. She was so beautiful and kind to me for no reason.

"Oh I'm okay. How are you?" I wasn't okay, I was fully lying through my crooked teeth.

"I'm really good actually. I had an interview today and got the job so that made my day." She smiled even bigger and I swear my heart was trying to give out. Just as I was about to say something, her phone rang. She held up her finger and stepped out of line. I moved up in line and waited until this all was over, I wanted to sleep the rest of my life away. She walked over and gave the cashier her basket of things. "Hi can you put this up for me? I really have to go." She looked over at me,"I am glad to hear you are doing okay Trixie. Catch ya later." She touched my shoulder and walked out of the door to her car. She called me Trixie, not Trix one time. I wanted to full on breakdown but I held it together long enough to pay for my things. I speed walked out of the store and to my car. I threw the things I bought in the backseat, started the car, and sped home. I didn't want to see the light of day for a while. I just wanted to lay in bed and cry.

After 40 minutes, I pulled into my apartment complex and ran into the building. The wait for the elevator was too long so I took the stairs, I opened the door to the apartment. As soon as I made it into the door, I fell to the ground. Why was I like this? She was so nice to me and yet here I am, still crying? I hated that I was like this, Mike was right, my step dad was right. All I did was cry and make problems for myself. I stormed into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I hated seeing myself, I hated seeing what everyone else saw. But it was all my fault anyway.


	7. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could tell that Trixie was off, even if I hadn't known her for that long. It was a feeling that made my blood chill. Trixie Mattel why are those walls so high and how do I break them down?

Katya's POV  
   Seeing Trixie made my heart do flips. No matter how sad I was about what happened, I still wanted to spend time with her. She seemed so out of it. Her hair looked frizzy and she wore sweatpants and a hoodie. But holy hell, she was still beautiful. I wanted to talk to her more, I was going to ask her how she really was feeling but my phone buzzed just as I found the courage to ask. On the other side of the phone Ginger, an older friend of mine, told me that my mother was in the hospital. She was complaining about chest pains and one night she fainted. Good thing it was bingo night at her house. A few of her friends came by the house and saw her car in the driveway but she wasn't answering the door. They used the key under the mat to get in and found her on the floor, she wasn't responding so they called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. I rushed to my apartment to pack a few things and get Red. I couldn't let my mom be in the hospital without me there. Yeah they got her stable but shit I refused to sit in a comfy apartment while she was suffering.

I bought a plane ticket for later today and made my way to the airport. Red meowed and protested this random ass trip but I couldn't leave him alone, and I'm sure he could use some pussy(heh jokes are fun). I put my stuff in the overhead and sat in my seat. As I waited for the plane to take off, Trixie found her way in my thoughts. I wish she was okay, because I knew she wasn't. I sent her a quick text.

me(10am): Hey I won't be at my place for a few days. Well I am unsure of the time period but I am going to see my mom. Medical emergency and all that. I hope we can find time to hang out when I get back and idk maybe actually talk. I know we just met but I really do enjoy you being my friend. I will miss you Trix, just like I did as soon as you left my apartment. Keep your head up and you can always call me or text me anytime.

I sent the text and locked my phone. I had no idea how she would respond but then again I never knew how anyone would respond, nor did I care. But for some reason I cared about the pink haired timid girl more than others. She was so delicate, I wanted to just hold her. A little doll that seemed like it needed some love and care. I put my headphones on and turned on music. Truth is, I was tired as hell. I hadn't slept much because I was thinking about Trixie and what that dream could have been about. The plane began to take off and I slowly started to fall asleep. I would talk to Trixie when I got back, I had to.

As I felt the plane land, I opened my eyes. I looked at my phone and I still didn't have a text from Trixie. It was 11:45am so maybe she was just busy. I had all day to wait for that text. I had so much stuff to do. I waited while people stepped off the plane so I could go last, there was so much on my mind. I really hoped my mom was okay. She was my first friend and became my best friend. The thought of losing her was too much to handle, it was even harder when you were running on only four hours of sleep. I stepped off the plane and saw a very familiar figure standing with their back to me. I slowly made my way over to the girl standing while scrolling on her phone, I put my arms around her and picked her up. "Vi! Oh my friend how I've missed you!" She turned to face me and wrapped her legs around me, kissing my face all over. Violet had been my friend so long, people thought we were a couple but she had a girlfriend whom she loved very much.

"Kat! I missed you whore!" I could feel Violet's tears hit my neck. Even though we face timed, called and texted each other all the time, nothing was better than holding your close friend. We stood crying and holding one another for five minutes before she got a call. I sat her down as she smiled at me. She answered the phone as she took my bag and walked to her car. "Hey yeah I just got her, uh no we didn't cry. Shut up Sharon! Yeah yeah yeah we will be straight there." Violet hung up the phone and rolled her eyes. "Come on Kat. Ginger and Sharon are waiting to see you. They wanna make sure you are actually alive and not some zombie. Even though I told them you always were a lifeless corpse." I punched Violet's arm and laughed.

"You are no better you rotten whore. Only Satan can be the reason you are still walking around here. Are you trying to complete some mission for him?" We got in Violet's car and started the drive to Ginger's house.

"I sure am! I am trying to collect souls through sexual relations, once you're in you can't get out!" Violet raised an eyebrow at me and laughed.

"You are doing an awful job then. You've been with Pearl for two years now bitch. It takes that long to suck out a soul through your pussy?"

"Yes bitch it does. It is harder when the person doesn't have a dick. Thank you very much! So did you talk to that girl?" I felt my heart sink a little as I looked at my phone.

"I sent her a text but I haven't gotten a reply. I saw her earlier today also and we talked for like a minute until Ginger called, I had to leave. I don't get it Vi."

"Get what Kat?" Vi looked over at me as we stopped at a red light.

"Her? I guess. She seemed fine, like 100% okay and all of a sudden it was like I was public enemy number one. I know that her and I just met but she seemed like she needed a friend."

"Katya, you have to give people time. And maybe she was just having an off day? You don't know her well enough to say she was acting strange." I hummed a response. Violet didn't understand. I could tell that Trixie was off, even if I hadn't known her for that long. It was a feeling that made my blood chill. Trixie Mattel why are those walls so high and how do I break them down?

 


	8. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she first met me, I was awkward and still was, with every interaction we had. Katya seemed so outgoing and sweet but I was not. Sure I was sweet, but that was hard to see when I was so scared to even say 'hi' to anyone. In my mind I was all kinds of messed up, but that didn't matter to Katya. Would it be so bad to let her be my friend?

I tossed and turned in bed. I hated being assaulted in my sleep by my demons. I knew they hated me like the rest of the world but a girl just couldn't catch a break. When I opened my eyes, I regretted it. My eyes burned when the rays of sun came into contact with them. It was just a mess, I was a mess. I picked up my phone and read through my messages. Mike texted me to tell me he would be working 'overtime' again tonight, at least something was good. As I scrolled through notications, one from four hours ago caught my eye. 'Katya'. Honestly I thought she would have deleted my number after yesterday. I clicked the text and felt a touch of sadness as I read it. Katya was gone. Katya said she was going to miss me and that she already did miss me. She said I could call if I needed to, but why? Why was she so nice to me? I had other friends who were but they knew me for a while, before I was like this. I ran through my brain what to say, and before I could text anything I got a phone call. I looked at the phone and saw my best friend's name, 'Kim' pop up. "Hello," I said softly into the phone.

"Oh my gosh, hi Trixie!" I loved my friend Kim. She was like a sister to me and I hated that I moved so far from her. But Mike hated her and all of my other friends, he said that they were gay women who couldn't get a man if they wanted to.

"What's up Kim? You usually just text me when you want to talk. Is everything okay?"

"Yes, but I have exciting news! Naomi and I are moving there to New York next week!" My heart stopped and my world became flooded with emotions. I sat up in bed and held onto my pillow.

"Really? You are?"

"Yes! She got a job with a modeling company there and I am going to be a makeup artist for the company. They are paying very well. We are going to be back together after all these years Trix!" I couldn't find any words to say but I found tears to cry. "Trixie why are you crying love?"

"I miss you Kimmy. I miss you so much." I heard Kim giggle and sniffle.

"I miss you too Trixie but don't worry once I am there, we can catch up and it will be like old times." Little did Kim know, it wouldn't be. I was so different than when I said ' _goodbye_ ' to her and when she moves here, she will see that.

Kim and I talked for a few more hours until she had to go. Her life was so together and here I was, a house wife without the wife part and shit without the house part too. There was so much I wanted to do with my life, so much I wanted to become. I had plans and Mike just wasn't apart of them but he made himself apart of them. And I hated myself for letting him. I was 21 and still wasn't making choices for myself at all.

After another three hours of laying down, I made myself climb out of bed. It was 5:50 and I didn't have a thing to do. I was going to be home alone tonight. Usually that was a good thing for some reason, a part of me didn't want that. As I walked around the apartment, my mind wandered to Katya. Katya, the new girl who moved in and wanted to be my friend for some strange reason. I didn't understand why though. When she first met me, I was awkward and still was, with every interaction we had. Katya seemed so outgoing and sweet but I was not. Sure I was sweet, but that was hard to see when I was so scared to even say ' _hi'_ to anyone. In my mind I was all kinds of messed up, but that didn't matter to Katya. Would it be so bad to let her be my friend?


	9. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm glad you're still quick on your feet mom."
> 
> "Don't need to be that quick to keep up with you, Katya." I looked at my phone while we were at a red light, nothing. I put it down with a look of defeat. "Dear, what is it?"

Katya's POV  
7pm and still no text from Trixie. I was really hoping she would text me back and maybe explain what was happening. Vi and I had gotten to Ginger's house and had a few drinks. The girls were happy to see me and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss them. This group of girls had gotten me through so much and there was no denying that fact. But my mind was still on Trixie, through all the drinks and music blasted, she was the only thing I could think about.

A full two weeks had passed and still nothing from Trixie. I was worried to say the least. On the second day I had gotten back in town, I went to the hospital to see my mother. They said she had a minor stroke but they caught it in enough time to help her so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I went back and forth from the hospital to her house, getting things she needed. I had been doing a good job not to let my mother see my worry about Trixie so she couod get better. Today was the day she was able to go home, so I had to load all of her stuff in the car. As I waited for the nurse to wheel her out of the hospital, I checked my phone again. Nothing. I had sent Trixie a text everyday since I got here, just checking on her. I never got anything back, it made my heart sink. "You're always on that phone Yekaterina." I looked up to see my mother being brought out of the hospital doors. "You should look up at the sun sometimes, it's quite beautiful."

"Mom, the sun will blind me. Then I won't be able to see anything."

"Well, it's not like you look at anything other than your phone anyway." I muttered a few curse words in Russian. We looked at each other and laughed as I helped her get in the car.

"I'm glad you're still quick on your feet mom."

"Don't need to be that quick to keep up with you, Katya." I looked at my phone while we were at a red light, nothing. I put it down with a look of defeat. "Dear, what is it?"

"What is what mom?"

"Yekaterina, I'm no dummy. You have been checking that thing more than I have ever seen. Who is supposed to be on the other side?" I sighed as I looked over at her.

"You notice everything. But it is a girl in my apartment complex, her name is Trixie. We had just met and were becoming friends but she became distant. I know I haven't known her for long but I just got a feeling."

"Then trust your feeling, that is what they are for. Unless they are telling you to murder the prime mister or something like that. But when it comes to building connects with a person, it is a 50/50 chance. You have good people skills Yekaterina, trust yourself." My mother grabbed my hand and smiled at me.

After talking more with my mom, we decided she would come visit me in a few months. She seemed exciting and to be honest I was too. I needed something to distract me from Trixie. I dropped my mother off home and took a long drive. I was going back tomorrow morning and I had no idea what I would say if I saw Trixie. My mom told me to just be calm and let the words come to me. I spent four hours just driving, no music just driving. I decided to drive to a hill and look out over the city at the lights. It was beautiful.

I spent three hours sitting on the hood of the car looking up at the stars. It was 7am and I had to be at the airport at 8:30. I said my teary goodbyes and gave my friends hugs. "Take care of yourself Katya," Ginger said as she hugged me tight.

"Yeah, we don't want to see a black bag showing up here alright? Unless its Halloween, then maybe I could use you as a decoration in the yard." My friend Sharon chuckled from the couch. I rolled my eyes and threw a pillow at her. Violet walked to me and threw her arms around me.

"Take care of Red okay? I will miss him so much and I love him." She said Red but I knew what she meant.

"I will take care of myself Vi. I will miss you too and I love you more." She cried into my neck until Pearl came and pulled her away. I waved bye to everyone and walked outside, my mother was waiting by the car. She decided she wanted to be the one to drive me to the airport. We got into the car, the drive was quiet. When we finally got to the airport, I got out of the car and got all of my things. My mom stepped out of the car and looked at me 

"Thought you could get away from me that easily?" She opened her arms and I walked right in them.

"Never. Please make sure to take care of yourself."

"I had to take care of you and your father, I think I can take care of myself. Remember to trust this okay?" She poked my chest where my heart was. "It can do wonders. I love you Yekaterina and call me when you land so I know you are safe and didn't dive out of the plane."

"I love you too mom and sure thing." As we hugged for a little longer, I felt the stress fall off of me.

 


	10. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: You haven't replied to any of my messages for two weeks now so I doubt you'll reply to this one but as you can see I'm back and I would love to spend some time with you. I work today from 8am until 6pm, so maybe we could find some time. If not, that's cool. But um, I missed you Trix. Have a good day.

Katya's POV

A plane ride seems way longer when you are ready to be in bed, which is what I was. I hadn't talked to Trixie in two full weeks and I didn't see myself having time when I got back. I started my new job tomorrow. I was able to call the owner of the shop last week and ask for a little more time. When the plane finally landed, my car was waiting for me. I loaded all my things into it, including Red and started the drive to our apartment. The forty minute drive was too long for both Red and I. When I pulled into the parking complex, I saw Trixie's car. Somehow I had forgotten the reason I was so nervous about coming home. I shook her from my head and grabbed Red's cage. I took the elevator to my floor, I really wish I knew what apartment was Trixie's, but she never told me.

After making a few trips to the car and back, Red and I were fully back home. Red was sleeping on the sofa as I painted. I missed the paint brush in my hand, letting it move freely. Letting my hand move and paint what it had touched and how touching an object made it feel. I had been painting for a few years. It was my way of understanding how my body felt the things it felt. I looked over at the canvas I started painting on the day I met Trixie. The bright colors that covered the canvas revealed the warmth and joy I got from hugging her and the time I spent talking to her. The more softer colors were those that represented how I felt when she fell asleep on me. It all was telling a story that seemed to be on hold right now. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 11pm, bedtime. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and grabbed Red off of the sofa. I walked us into the bedroom and laid down. I slowly fell asleep as the sounds of the street below drowned out my thoughts.

I was awoken by the sound of glass shattering on the wall in the apartment above mine. At first I thought that maybe I was dreaming, but then I heard the voice of a girl and it sounded like she'd been crying. Now, I was a little too be worried to be sleeping. So I pulled on a hoodie over my sports bra and shorts and walked out of my apartment. I took the elevator to the third floor, walked down the hall and knocked on the apartment door. The girl who stood before me, shocked me. Trixie. "Katya, what are you doing here?"

"I heard banging sounds and glass breaking Trixie." She looked back into her apartment and then at me.

"I think your ears are playing tricks on you," her sweater was zipped up to her chin. "Thanks for caring Katya, that's nice of you but I have to go back in. Wish I could tell you bout the noise but I didn't hear a thing. It must have been the wind." She said goodbye and closed the door. I went back to my apartment and laid on the floor. Cold concrete on my back, I just couldn't shake the feeling. I didn't want to intrude, because I knew I didn't have all the facts. I knew something was wrong, she was off more than when I saw her before. It was 5am and I wasn't going back to sleep. I aimed my boombox ,that I used for parties, at the roof and played the song 'lean on me' maybe she'd get the idea. As the song played, I sent her a text.

Me: You haven't replied to any of my messages for two weeks now so I doubt you'll reply to this one but as you can see I'm back and I would love to spend some time with you. I work today from 8am until 6pm, so maybe we could find some time. If not, that's cool. But um, I missed you Trix. Have a good day.

After I sent the text, I got ready for work. Today was gonna be a long day. 


	11. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hey Mike, is it okay if I go to the store tomorrow? I have some things I want to get for new recipes that I want to try." Mike was playing his Xbox and barely paid any attention to me. 
> 
> "Sure, I don't care. You need to work on your cooking anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter yesterday was kinda short so here's something to make up for it. (sorry in advance for this chapter) Enjoy

Trixie's POV  
Katya was back. She was back and I didn't know what to say to her. I had no idea how so much could go so wrong in a few days. I dragged myself out of bed to the bathroom and ran a hot bath. I pulled my hair down from its high ponytail as I winced. There was dried blood caked in my hair and it made my hair stick together. I took off my clothes and stepped into the bath, letting the hot water melt away last night's stress. The events of the night played like a horror film in my head. 

Kim and her girlfriend Naomi had moved into an apartment not that far from me last week. As soon as they moved, Kim wanted to see me and to be honest, I wanted to see her. She had asked everyday until I gave in. I decided not to tell Mike because I knew he wouldn't let me go, so I lied to him. "Hey Mike, is it okay if I go to the store tomorrow? I have some things I want to get for new recipes that I want to try." Mike was playing his Xbox and barely paid any attention to me. 

"Sure, I don't care. You need to work on your cooking anyway." I sighed and went back to washing the dishes. I texted Kim when Mike went to shower and told her to meet me at the store, at least that way I can say I ran into her. She sent a heart as a reply, I couldn't tell her about Mike and what had been happening. 

Mike left for work at 10am so I took a shower and got dressed. I put on the locket that Kim got me for my 15th birthday and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I smiled at the thought of being okay at least for a few hours. It was 2pm so I made my way out of the door and left for the store. When I pulled into the parking lot, there was Kim. She was leaning against a white jeep. I ran towards her, with tears in my eyes. "Kim!" Kim turned and opened her arms, pulling me into a hug. 

"Oh my gosh, you look so beautiful. Look at you!" Kim's cries started to match mine. I hugged her tighter and remembered the times that her and I had together. 

"I've missed you so much Kim." 

"I've missed you too love." Kim pulled back from me a little and looked at me, she pulled me back into another hug. "I'm never letting you leave me again. We are staying close." When we finally stopped hugging, Kim and I had to fix our makeup. "Come on, let's go inside." Kim held my hand as I leaned against her. I listened to Kim talk about her time in beauty school and the fact that her and Naomi have been together for four years now. "I'm going to propose to her sometime this week. I'm scared but I love her, you know?" I nodded my head and smiled. "So enough about me, how are you and what's his name?" 

"Uh, we are good. He got a promotion last week so that's good." Kim hummed and looked at me. 

"Are you happy?

"Yes Kimmy, I am." I looked at my phone and saw that Katya had texted me. It made me feel bad that I hadn't replied back to her but I didn't know what to say. 

"Who's that?" 

"Oh just a girl who lives in my building." Kim grabbed my phone and scrolled through the messages. 

"She said she misses you. Hmm, so she's just a girl?" I snatched my phone back and locked it. 

"Stop being nosey Kim, and yes she is just a girl." For the rest of our time together, Kim and I talked, got food, and just enjoyed each other's company. When I got home it was around 10pm, I went in the room and laid down. Mike said he was working late so I didn't have to make dinner. I closed my eyes and slowly let myself be pulled into a deep sleep. 

I was woken up by the sound of a door. When I got up and walked out of the room, I was hit to the ground. I held my cheek and looked up, Mike was standing over me with my phone in his hand. "You lied to me." I crawled backwards into a wall. I knew what he was talking about because my home screen wallpaper was Kim and I. It was a picture I took today, but I couldn't let him know that I had planned to see her. He would kill me. 

"What are you talking about?" He flipped over the coffee table and threw his glass whiskey bottle against the wall nearly hitting me.

"Don't play dumb Beatrice. You were with that dike bitch from back home." He grabbed me by my arm and squeezed hard until it hurt. 

"I saw her at the store Mike, she moved here." Mike slapped me again but harder this time. He grabbed me by my throat, choking me before he threw me on the sofa. 

"Don't fucking play me Beatrice. I told you I never want you to see her or those other dikes again. Delete and block her damn number and you are not allowed out of this apartment, do you understand me?" I nodded my head as I held my face. 

"Clean up that goddamn mess." Mike walked into the room and after ten minutes, I could hear snoring. It was 4am and here I was again, crying on the floor. I grabbed a broom and started to clean up the broken glass, when I heard a knock at the door. I put on my jacket and zipped it up to hide the bruises that were already forming. I opened the door and saw Katya staring back at me. 

"Trixie" 

"Katya, what are you doing here?" 

"I heard banging sounds and glass breaking Trixie." I looked back into the apartment to make sure Mike was still asleep. 

"I think your ears are playing tricks on you. Thanks for caring Katya, that's nice of you but I have to go back in. Wish I could tell you bout the noise but I didn't hear a thing. It must have been the wind." I closed the door and immediately started to cry as I slid down the door. I covered my mouth to keep my cries from being loud.

After I cleaned up the mess, I laid on the sofa and covered my face. I could hear the song 'lean on me' being played. It was right below me, so I knew it was Katya. My tears started to stop falling and my heart settled. She was there even if I was pushing for her not to be.


	12. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, you are?" She held out her hand and shook mine. 
> 
> "My name is Kimberly but please call me Kim. May I sit?" I nodded my head and watched as she slowly sat down. "I am sorry that this is out of no where but I am worried about Trixie." 
> 
> "So am I." Kim nodded and looked in my eyes.

Katya's POV  
I had been staring at the clock since I got into work. It was finally 6pm, time to go home. I said bye to my coworkers and got in my car. The only thing that had been on my mind was Trixie and what the fuck was going on. I stopped to get a salad and then a box of chocolates. I planned on going to see Trixie. She still wasn't replying to my messages and well waiting just wasn't a damn option anymore. I needed to talk to her, I needed to know what was going on with my friend. 

I pulled into my parking spot at around 7:30. I grabbed my stuff and walked into the building. When I walked into my apartment, I fed Red and changed into something comfortable. I paced around my living room, rehearsing what I was going to say to Trixie and how I was going to say it. Nothing seemed right to me, nothing at all. I sat on the sofa and groaned. Red jumped in my lap and laid down. "Ugh, Red she isn't even replying to any of my texts. I have no idea why I think she'd answer the door if she knew it was me. But she needs someone, and I want to help." I stood up and walked to the door. I took the elevator up to Trixie's apartment and knocked on the door. "Trixie? Trix, it's me Katya. I know you are home, I saw your car. Listen I don't know what is going on but I want to help you. Let me be your friend Trix, let me be here for you." There was no answer. I sighed and put the box of chocolates on the mat. I touched the door on last time. "Trixie, you know where I am. I won't be sleeping tonight most likely and I don't work tomorrow." I whispered a soft 'I love you' and walked to the elevator. While I was waiting for the elevator, I heard a door open. 

"She isn't okay you know?" I turned around to see a red haired woman dressed in a green gown. "My name is Jinkx." I remember hearing stories about how she was a witch and how all that comes from her apartment are crazy noises. 

"Hello, I'm Katya. And what do you mean she's not okay?" 

"I cannot say for sure, but the sounds that come from that apartment are horrid." Jinkx walked closer to me and touched my shoulder. "I don't want to raise too many alarms but I think he abuses her dear. I've heard him yelling, her crying and saying sorry, glass breaking, things being thrown, then silence. I've called the police many times but the poor girl always says it is nothing and that nothing is happening." Jinkx looked in my eyes as if she was pleading with me. I grabbed the red head's hands and smiled. 

"I will see how I can help." Jinkx smiled softly and went back to her apartment. I took the elevator down to my apartment and groaned as I laid on the floor. I couldn't stop thinking about what Jinkx said and how it added up. The hiding of her body, the shaky behavior, always checking her phone. Trixie could be in trouble, but if she didn't talk, what could I do? My phone buzzed on the coffee table and pulled me from my thoughts. I picked it up and read a text from an unknown number. 

Unknown: Hi you don't know me but I am Trixie's best friend from home and I just moved here. I was wondering if we could maybe meet up and talk? 

My mind was racing. Why would her friend text me and how did she even get my number? There was only one way to find out. I sent a reply to agree to meeting. 

Me: Sure, we can meet tomorrow at 1pm at Starbucks. 

I locked my phone and crawled on the sofa to sleep. I had no idea what was happening and I really needed to figure it out. 

I woke up around 11am and got ready to meet up with Trixie's friend. I ordered my coffee and sat at a table by the window. While I was scrolling through my phone, an Asian woman walked to my table. "Hello, are you Katya?" 

"Yes, you are?" She held out her hand and shook mine. 

"My name is Kimberly but please call me Kim. May I sit?" I nodded my head and watched as she slowly sat down. "I am sorry that this is out of no where but I am worried about Trixie." 

"So am I." Kim nodded and looked in my eyes. 

"Her and I grew up together. She moved away when she was about 18, it broke my heart. Her life at home wasn't the best so I understood. But that guy that she is with is no good, he is a dog. Trixie is not who she used to be Katya and I thought me being here would help her but I tried to text her, my number had been blocked and so was my Instagram." 

"Why are you telling me this? How did you even get my number?" 

"She seems to like you. When you texted her, she smiled a little. She is just afraid of him. I saw the messages you sent her, you really care about her. She needs that. And when I looked at the messages, I made sure to remember your number so I could ask you what was happening with her. You don't have to help me but please help her." 

Kim and I talked for three hours about her and Trixie. It was all so interesting. Trixie went from this bubbly, shy, smart beautiful girl to a shell of who she was. I couldn't bear to think about her too much though, it hurt. I covered the painting that I started the day I met Trixie. I couldn't handle it. I made sure to keep myself busy through the day, I cleaned the whole apartment, washed clothes, went shopping, and even gave Red a bath. I looked at the clock, and sighed. 10pm, time to get ready for bed. I got up from the floor and went to brush my teeth. As I was getting ready for bed, I heard a knock at the door. "I'm coming." I opened the door and saw her, the girl I didn't want to think about all day. "Trixie?" 

"Katya?" Trixie took one step and fell in my arms, crying.


	13. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you." 
> 
> "There's no need to thank me."
> 
> "Yes, there is. You are helping me even though I haven't talked to you at all. I have had no efforts to actually be your friend but here you are, helping me."

Katya's POV  
I sat in my living room as Trixie slept in my bed. I closed my eyes and was assaulted with the events of the past three hours. The screams, the cries, the pleads all just in her sleep. I finally gave in and just held her close for an hour until her cries stopped. When she first got here, she seemed so fragile but now I saw that she was clearly just fully broken already. When I opened my door three hours ago, I didn't expect to see her. I didn't expect for her to fall in my arms and cry her eyes out, just saying sorry over and over again. I kneeled with her in my arms and rubbed her head, telling her it was okay. I picked her up and put her in my bed, she was so weak from crying that moving was such a hard task. 

I went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and walked to my room. Trixie was still sleeping, cuddling Red. I put the bottle of water on the bedside table and sat on the end of the bed. Even in her sleep, she didn't look at peace. I reached to move her hair out of her face and felt sweat. I carefully unzipped her jacket and wanted to commit murder when I saw her neck and upper body covered in bruises. I pulled my hand back slowly and stood up, walking to the door. "Katya?" The soft scared voice made me turn around. 

"Yes Trixie?"

"I, I am sorry." Trixie looked down and saw that her jacket was unzipped. She zipped it back up and brought her knees to her chest, hiding her face. I walked to her and sat beside her. 

"Hey, there is nothing to be sorry for. But can I see?" Trixie looked at me with those big brown eyes, slowly nodding her head. "It's okay, I won't hurt you." I pulled the zipper down on her jacket and slowly pulled it off of her. I moved my hand and softly touched her face, turning her head slightly to see more bruises. "Are you wearing makeup?" She was silent but I knew the answer. I got up from the bed and got a makeup wipe. I walked back over and softly wiped her face with the wipe, revealing a slightly purple hue to her left eye. My throat grew dry and my heart ached.   
I held her arms in my hands and looked over all the hand prints left on her. I looked closer and wiped her wrist with the makeup wipe, Trixie started to cry silently. "Shh, I am not here to judge you." There were cuts all over her wrist, old and new. I could only wonder when she started this unhealthy habit. "Come on, let's get these all cleaned up." Trixie took my hand as we walked to the bathroom. She sat on the side of the bathtub as I got the medicine kit from the cabinet, I kneeled down in front of her. "May I?" Trixie held one of her arms out, silent. I cleaned the makeup from the cuts, gently with a wet cloth. I took ointment and covered the cuts, wrapping her arms up after. I counted as many as 20 cuts on one arm. 

"Thank you." 

"There's no need to thank me."

"Yes, there is. You are helping me even though I haven't talked to you at all. I have had no efforts to actually be your friend but here you are, helping me." 

"Well that is what you do when you care about someone Trix. You help." Trixie went silent again and just watched me as I finished wrapping her other arm. "Okay, that should do it. I am kinda hungry, do you want to eat?" Trixie looked at me and nodded. "Come on then." I walked to the kitchen, followed by Trixie. "Pancakes?" 

"Okay." Trixie sat at the table and watched me as I mixed the batter. Red jumped on the table and sat in front of Trixie, hitting her with his paw for attention. There was nothing but the sound of the pancakes cooking in the apartment. It was 1:39 in the morning and I was glad I didn't have to work tomorrow. 

After making the pancakes. Trixie and I sat in the living room to eat. We had soft piano music playing the the background as we sat on the floor. "Trix?" Trixie looked at me. 

"Yeah?" 

"I promise I'm not playing tricks on you. You're always welcome to come in, you can stay here for an hour or two if you ever need a friend. We can talk about the noise when you're ready, but until then I'll say it must have been the wind." Trixie sat her plate down and hugged me, crying. I rubbed her head and held her, letting her cry on me.


	14. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes Trix?"
> 
> "Can you, can you hold me?" Katya smiled and wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close to her. "Thank you."
> 
> "You're welcome, now try and get some sleep." I closed my eyes and listened to Katya's breathing. It was soft and so much different than Mike's breathing. Katya held my hand as she slept and for the first time in while, I felt safe. I finally let myself sleep.

Trixie's POV  
"I promise I'm not playing tricks on you. You're always welcome to come in, you can stay here for an hour or two if you ever need a friend. We can talk about the noise when you're ready, but until then I'll say it must have been the wind." Katya's words replayed in my head over and over again. Katya told me that she would lay with me if I wanted her to and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that. We laid down and I tried to sleep. "Katya?"

"Yes Trix?"

"Can you, can you hold me?" Katya smiled and wrapped her arm around me, pulling me close to her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, now try and get some sleep." I closed my eyes and listened to Katya's breathing. It was soft and so much different than Mike's breathing. Katya held my hand as she slept and for the first time in while, I felt safe. I finally let myself sleep.

I slept for a few hours until I had to use the bathroom. I slipped from under Katya's arm and walked to her bathroom. After I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror. Katya did her best to treat the bruises on me and my black eye. I walked out of the bathroom into the living room and walked out onto the balcony. I took a deep breathe and leaned against the glass door. I didn't want to get Katya involved in all this but I didn't know who else to go to. Mike lost his shit. He was sent home from work early after being put on probation for being rude. His temper got the best of him and he punched one of his coworkers. When he came home, I was laying down, watching TV.

"Trixie, get your ass out here!" I walked out, rubbing my eyes.

"Yeah?" Mike grabbed my arm and pulled me to him, I could smell the liquor on his breathe.

"Didn't I tell you to clean up this damn apartment?"

"No." Mike slapped me to the ground.

"Don't tell me what I didn't tell you. You have been pushing it these past few days Beatrice." Mike stood over me, staring down at me.

"I'm sorry Mike." He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to the room.

"Yeah, you will be." After Mike was done, he left me on the bedroom floor. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and cried. My face and mouth were bleeding and my eye was swollen. I cleaned my face up to the best of my ability and sat on the floor, crying. Through my crying, I could hear my phone go off in the next room. I walked into the bedroom and looked at it. It was a reminder to answer my unread messages from Katya. I pulled on my jacket, covered my bruises, and took the elevator down to Katya's apartment. I never expected that she would do all that she did, I never expected she would be there for me like she was.

"Trixie? You okay out here?" I jumped and saw Katya standing at the door. She had the blanket wrapped around her, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I got up to use the bathroom and then I dunno, I got distracted."

"It's okay. Come here." I walked to Katya with my head down. She wrapped the blanket around me and sat us down on a swing facing the east. We sat in silence, looking at the sun fully rise.

"I don't want to go back Katya." Was the only thing I could say before I started crying in her arms.

"Okay, then don't."

"I have no where to go."

"You can stay with me." I looked at Katya and the smile on her face.

"I can't."

"And why not?"

"Because, he will come looking for me."

"And he will find himself dead. Listen, I don't want you getting hurt again so let's go get all your stuff and you can move down here with me. You can have the extra room if you want. It doesn't have to be forever."

"Katya, are you sure?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't." Katya put her hand softly on my cheek.

"Okay." Katya stood up and went to her room. She pulled out suitcase after suitcase.

"Is he home?"

"No, he usually goes out even if he doesn't work. He will be gone until probably 11 tonight."

"Well it is 10am so we have more than enough time. Let's go ahead and get this done." Katya took two of the suitcases and I took the other ones. As we were on the elevator, the reality of what was happening hit me.

"Katya?"

"Yes Trix?"

"I don't know if I can do this." Katya grabbed my hands and looked me in my eyes.

"Listen, I know this is hard but I'm right here. I swear that to you. I won't leave your side okay?" I nodded my head and tried to slow down my breathing. The elevator door opened and I took a deep breathe as we stepped out. I opened the apartment door and showed Katya what I wanted. We took my clothes, shoes, accessories, and stuff from back home. As I walked from the bedroom, I saw the pictures of Mike and I on the walls. There was rage rushing through my veins out of nowhere. I walked back in the bedroom and grabbed Mike's bat from high school and walked back into the hall. I pulled the bat back and smashed the pictures on the wall. Katya came running out of the bathroom and watched as I smashed all of the pictures. I screamed as I hit each and every last one. I stopping swinging the bat when glass was covering the floor. Katya walked to me slowly, stepping over the broken pieces of glass and took the bat out of my hands. "Come here, it's okay love." Katya pulled me into her arms and backed me away from the glass, she kneeled with me and held me as I screamed and cried. "I am here Trixie, I'm here."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyya, sorry I haven't update much. I've been busy with school and whatnot, but I will be updating every week again. Also if anyone has any ideas for any stories, let me know! I love hearing ideas from others.


	15. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Trixie, baby, come home please. I need you, I want you, please I'm sorry I will never hit you again. I was mad and took it out on you." As the first voicemail ended, another played. "Baby, where are you? Come on, we can work this work. We have so much history. Call me back." Another played, "babe, babe, I miss you. I can't do this without you. Remember our first date? And how great it was? Remember when you told me you would never leave me? Don't leave me baby."

Trixie's POV  
Katya and I had stripped me from the apartment, all that screamed me and who I was. I looked around the place that I no longer would call home and then I remembered something. I ran into the bedroom and pulled up a loose floor board in the closet. I pulled out a small black box and put it under my arm. I walked back out and looked at Katya. "Okay, I'm ready." She smiled at me and helped me take everything to the elevator. When we got back to Katya's apartment, she sat everything down.

"Okay, so you can have your own room. We are roommates I guess, and it doesn't have to stay that way but I think Red and I will be happier with you here. But before you get everything settled in, we are eating." Katya walked into the kitchen to start cooking.

An hour after we ate, Katya showed me my new room. I started unpacking and looked at the clock, 7pm. I laid on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. I was going to be okay now. Katya wanted to make sure of it, why should I get in the way of that? I turned off the lamp on the bedside table and closed my eyes. I was tired from it all, emotionally and mentally tired.

I woke up as always. It was 6am, I had slept for hours and Katya let me sleep. I got up and walked out of my room, Katya's door was closed and her light was off. I sighed and walked out into the living room, turned on the TV and looked through the channels for something to watch. When I finally settled on _Tiny Houses_ , my phone rang. I looked around for it and finally found it in one of my bags. It was Mike, I let the call go to voicemail and scrolled through all the missed calls and text messages. 30 missed calls and over 100 messages, all from Mike. I put in my password and listened to one of the voice mails.

 _"Trixie, baby, come home please. I need you, I want you, please I'm sorry I will never hit you again. I was mad and took it out on you."_ As the first voicemail ended, another played. " _Baby, where are you? Come on, we can work this work. We have so much history. Call me back."_ Another played, " _babe, babe, I miss you. I can't do this without you. Remember our first date? And how great it was? Remember when you told me you would never leave me? Don't leave me baby."_ As more and more played, Mike's true nature showed. " _Beatrice, you lied. You said you'd never leave me. But I'm here alone, where the fuck are you?"_ They got worse and worse each time, " _Okay listen here you bitch, I will find you. I will find you and make your life hell. I can see why your step dad did what he did. You are so weak and broken, no one will want you. I did you a favor by loving you and being with you. Don't be a waste of time. "_ The last one I listened to was short but far from sweet, " _Don't make me come find you Beatrice. You have a week to come to your damn senses."_ As Mike's words ringed in my ears, my body tensed up. My breathing became harsh and I started to shake. I threw my phone, got up, walked to Katya's door and knocked. There was no answer.

"Katya? It's me Trixie." There was still no answer, so I slowly opened the door. Katya was gone. I looked around the apartment and saw that Red was gone too.  Did I run her off? Did she really leave? I knew this would happen, I knew I was too much. I walked into my room and started packing my stuff, from shoes to eyeliner. I went to the bathroom and took all of my stuff out of the shower. As I walked past the mirror, I saw myself and hate filled my body. I punched the mirror and smashed it, I held my hand as my crimson blood ran from my knuckles. "Fucking shit." I sat on the bathroom floor as the blood ran from my hand. I picked up a piece of broken glass from the mirror and pulled off the bandages that Katya wrapped around my arms. I took a deep breathe and let the cold glass make warm blood spill from my arm like it had done so many times before. Darkness took over as the world began to spin. Darkness, just darkness. Cold, unloving but welcoming darkness.


	16. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The chick who will kill you if you ever come near Trixie again."

Katya's POV  
I walked in the apartment with Red in his cage and a few bags from the store. As I unlocked the apartment, I called for Trixie. "Trixie, I'm home." I walked through the apartment and looked in Trixie's room, she was no where to be seen. I walked further in and saw that most of her stuff was packed. "Trixie, where are you?" As I looked around Trixie's room, her phone rang. I rushed out of her room into the living room and saw that it was her ex. I hovered my finger over the green button and clicked it.

"Trixie? Where the fuck are you?"

"This isn't Trixie."

"Who the hell are you?"

"The chick who will kill you if you ever come near Trixie again." There was rage filling my body. I clenched my fist at my side and squeezed tighter.

"What are you taking about?"

"Did you really think no would find out about you beating her? There are people who care, you asshole. People like you don't deserve people like Trixie, or anyone at all."

"You talk real tough for a chick. Get my girlfriend."

"And you talk real tough for a pussy who beats on a woman. No real man beats on a woman. You are nothing but a wimp who takes his anger out on someone smaller rather than confront the problem or fight a man. Oh and she isn't your girlfriend anymore you dick. You will never come near her again" I could hear her ex throw something and then glass shattering. "Temper, temper."

"You are gonna regret this. I will find you both."

"Same to you buddy, same to you." I ended the call and wrote down his number before blocking him. I looked around some more and saw that the bathroom light was on. I tried to open it but the door was locked."Trixie? Babe? You in there?" There was no reply. I pushed on the door and pushed more until the lock popped. As I opened the door, my heart fell to the ground. Trixie was sitting against the bathtub with blood around her. I ran to her side and softly shook her. "Trixie, baby doll I need you to wake up for me. Come on we just moved in together. I have made so many plans, there are so many things for us to do together." Trixie mumbled something and I thanked the heavens that she was still alive. I got the medicine kit and wrapped up her arms, tightly. I took off my shirt and turned on the shower, as I got in the shower I pulled her in with me and laid her against my chest. I let the cold water hit her in the face as I rocked her back and forth. "You know what Trix, it'll be great if you woke up. I love you Trixie, and I want to protect you. I want to protect you from all the evil in the world. You are my friend Trixie, and I love my friend, I love you so damn much. But I can't show you my love if you leave me. Please don't leave me. I know it's rough, but I can make it better. I promise you, I can." My tears started to fall slowly as I looked at Trixie. She was pale but her body was warming up. I kissed her cheek and prayed to whoever was upstairs to let her survive.

After I took Trixie out of the shower, her body had warmed up more. I washed her face and brushed her hair, getting rid of all the tangles. I sat on the bed next to Trixie, she was still unconscious but breathing. I lifted her arm softly to change the bandages. As I unwrapped her arms, my throat went dry. There were cuts all over her arms, more than before. The fresh cuts were still dripping blood. I took a cold wet cloth and carefully cleaned the cuts as I hummed along to the piano music I had playing through the house. I wrapped Trixie's arms back up and threw the old bandages in the trash. I walked to the kitchen and fixed myself a cup of hot cocoa. I leaned against the counter as I waited for the water to heat up. I grabbed a bottle of water for Trixie, just in case she would wake up soon. Red jumped on the counter and rubbed against my arm. "Hey there buddy. Are you worried about her? She will be okay." I ran my fingers up Red's tail and scratched behind his ear. "She will be okay." I finished making my hot cocoa and grabbed the water, walking back to my bedroom. I sat in the chair facing the window. I looked at the cars go by on the streets below. Red jumped in my lap and purred as I pet him. The moonlight shined in the room, lighting the room up slightly. I looked at Trixie, her beauty being enhanced as the moonlight hit her face. Her porcelain face, shined as the moon casted it's light on her. Her pink hair glistened. From the first night I met her, I had seen her like this. She had been a goddess in my eyes and now the moon was praising her, just like I wish I could do. I really wanted to give her the world. All the happiness she had dreamed of and more. I wanted to love her but that seemed out of the question at this point. But being her friend was good enough for me, it was more than enough because I was glad to still have her in my life. I sat down my mug and crawled into bed with Trixie. As soon as I laid down, she wrapped an arm around me. My heart raced as I looked down at her. I ran my fingers through her hair as I spoke softly. "I can't wait until you open your eyes. I really love you Trixie, you stole my heart from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I hope you will allow me to make you happy and to help." I leaned down and kissed Trixie's head. I closed my eyes as I wrapped my arm around Trixie, holding her close.

 

 


	17. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What?"
> 
> "A therapist Trix."
> 
> "Why?"

Trixie's POV  
I could feel warmth around me, surrounding me. It was much different from the cold that I felt before. I slowly opened my eyes and my eyes were met with dim red lights rather than the bright lights of the bathroom. I turned my head to look around but my movements were stopped. I looked and saw that Katya was holding me. I was in Katya's bed, she was holding me tight. I tried to move again but Katya tighten her hold. "Are you awake Trix?" I nodded my head as she sighed. "You scared me Trix." Katya went silent for a little then spoke again. "Why'd you do it?" I swallowed hard as I held my stomach. The sadness in Katya's voice was strong and it caused my heart to hurt.

"I, I thought you left me."

"Why would I leave you?"

"I was looking for you and you weren't anywhere to be found. Both you and Red were gone." Katya sat up and looked at me.

"I took him to the vet, he swallowed one of my earrings." I covered my face and started to cry.

"I'm sorry, I just over think things. I got messages and phone calls from Mike and it just freaked me out. I panicked." Katya took my hands and looked me in my eyes.

"I'm not leaving you Trixie. I wouldn't have you move in with me just to up and walk out on you." I sniffled and wiped away my tears as Katya hugged me. "I'm not going anywhere, I swear." I cried in Katya's arms until I could cry no more. Katya hummed as she held me tight in her arms. "I'm not leaving, I promise. I'm never leaving." I closed my eyes and let the sound of Katya's voice ease my body into a deep sleep. The last thing I could hear was Katya telling me it would be okay.

I felt someone shaking me softly. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Katya smiling at me. "Hey there sleepy head." I sat up and immediately regretted it. The world around me spun and my head pounded. Katya leaned me back slowly against the pillow. "Take it easy okay? You need to rest before you decide to do anything."

"Can I at least go to my room?"

"You can stay in here. I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere, so what better way than to sleep in the same room as me?" I looked at Katya as she walked around the room moving things around.

"What are you doing?"

"Well since you will be in here until I don't know when. I thought that maybe we could watch movies and what not. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"I guess so."

"Good, I'm going to get a few things from the living room, I'll be back." After Katya left the room, I slowly sat up against the headboard. I looked down at my arms and saw that they were wrapped up in bandages. I also noticed that I wasn't in the clothes that I had on earlier. Instead, I was wearing a huge black band shirt. I looked up to see myself in Katya's vanity across the room, my hair was in a neat ponytail and my face was clean. I turned away from my reflection and looked out the window, the sun was setting. Katya walked back in the room with various snacks and movies. "Okay so movies and snacks. I got a lot of stuff, hopefully you like some of this."

"How long was I asleep?" Katya looked at the clock on her wall.

"Hmm, about seven hours mama."

"Why didn't you wake me?" Katya smiled and set down all of the things in her arms.

"You were resting, and plus you looked so cute sleeping."

"Um, hey?" Katya looked at me with a soft smile on her face. "Where'd this shirt come from?"

"Oh, well me. You were covered in blood and well you had packed all of your stuff. I didn't know where anything was so I um, I let you barrow something of mine. You can change if you want."

"No,no. It is okay Katya, it is comfy." I smiled as Katya's smile got bigger. "So what are we gonna watch?

"Oh yeah, uh some chick flicks, romantic tragedies and some good old blood and gore."

"What kind of combination is that"

"My kind, that's what kind. Now move over or I'll sit on you." I moved over on the bed and played with the hem of the shirt as the movie started. "You can have any snack you want okay? Don't even have to ask."

"Oh, cool thank you." Katya smiled and turned her attention to the movie. During the movie my attention went from the screen to Katya. I never really took the time to really see how beautiful she actually was. Her eyes. Her lips. Her smile. Shit, just her. It is all beauty. My eyes wandered down her body and her beauty just seemed to increase. I shook my head and looked back at the TV. _No Trixie, let's not go down that road. She is your friend and that's all._ Katya's laughter broken me from my thoughts, I tuned it fully into the movie to see what she found funny. It was a murder scene. A full murder scene. "Uh, Katya?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think that's supposed to be funny."

"Yeah, but it is meant to be entertaining." I rolled my eyes as Katya smiled at me. We both turned our eyes towards the TV. After maybe 30 minutes, I leaned my head on Katya's shoulder. She moved my head to her lap and ran her fingers through my hair. "Hey Trix?"

"Hmm?" Her fingers in her hair was slowly relaxing my body, almost putting me to sleep.

"I've been thinking."

"About?"

"Well, I think uh, I think it would be good if you saw a therapist." I opened my eyes and lifted my head off of Katya's lap.

"What?"

"A therapist Trix."

"Why?"

"For help Trix. They can do way more than I can. Yeah I can keep you safe but not your yourself."

"What are you talking about?" Katya grabbed the hand I had broken the mirror with.

"This. Listen Trixie, I have an art major and that art major can't help with what is going on in your pretty head. You can take it slow. But, I don't want to worry about what will happen to you while I'm gone. When I walked into the bathroom, I was heartbroken. You are my friend Trixie and that means I want you safe." Katya looked into my eyes as she spoke. A single tear fell down her cheek and made its way slowly down her face. I wiped after her tear and smiled at her.

"I will try it."

"That is all I will ask of you, for you to try." Katya pulled me into a hug and held me. We laid down after a little bit more of talking. I was scared of being judged by the therapist, whoever it was going to be. But I was gonna try it out for Katya, it was the least I could do.


	18. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Yes, I'm okay."
> 
> "Are you sure?" I smiled and nodded my head. "Why aren't you sleeping?"
> 
> "I did."
> 
> "Yeah, for a little. What's wrong Katya?"
> 
> "Just thinking."

Katya's POV:  
The sun was rising and I still hadn't slept. I was too afraid to sleep, I was too afraid to do anything that would take Trixie out of my sight. It broke my heart that she was as bad as she was, but that was okay. I wanted to help her get better, I needed to. I looked down at Trixie. She loved sleeping on my chest, loved me holding her. It was something so simple but she seemed to enjoy it so much. She seemed to enjoy me holding her when we watched movies yesterday or when I asked her if she was okay every 20 minutes. I wanted to show her I cared but it was hard when you didn't want to seem annoying. I sighed and looked out of the window. "Are you okay?" I looked down to see Trixie staring at me.

"Yes, I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" I smiled and nodded my head. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I did."

"Yeah, for a little. What's wrong Katya?"

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"Life, I guess." She hummed as if she understood. "Trixie, may I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"When was the last time you were happy?" Trixie laid her head back on me and sighed.

"Well, the last time I was happy is..well when I thought Mike really loved me. He made me feel so wanted, even if it was for the wrong reason. I was happy maybe for a year or two, but it didn't last. I had been with Mike since high school, the he was the only love I had ever known. I don't let myself feel happiness now though because in my mind, it won't last. The good in people doesn't last. Well, that's what I told myself at least. I've been close to it though, being happy." Trixie paused and looked at me. "With you. I've felt it with you. I have been telling myself that you won't hurt me, pushing myself to believe it."

"I won't say that I will never hurt you because I'm human but if I ever do, I'll work my ass off to fix it."

"I will know you. You've been doing that even when you aren't the one that hurt me. And I want to say thank you for that, thank you for saving me."

"You should thank yourself."

"Why?"

"Because you are the one who showed up at my door Trixie. You wanted to be saved, I just kept the door opened. You were the one who walked through it." Trixie smiled and we fell into a pleasant silence. We listened to the world below us coming alive, the dogs, the car horns, and the birds.

It was around 12pm when Trixie and I got out of my bed. She went to shower while I made breakfast. Just as I finished with the eggs, there was a knock at the door. "I'm coming!" I opened the door and saw a smiling Jinkx standing on my doormat. "Oh hello Jinkx. How are you?"

"I am well. How are you?"

"I am good. Would you like to come in?" The red haired woman walked in. I noticed she was holding a cake.

"I wanted to see how Trixie was doing. I really did enjoy her singing in the morning."

"Singing?"

"Yes, it was beautiful. I baked a cake for you both. I hope you devil's food." Jinkx handed me the cake with a smile.

"She is doing okay. Still figuring things out and this is very sweet of you. Thank you. Trixie is in the shower but she will be out soon. Would you like some breakfast? We can have cake after."

"That sounds lovely. Thank you." Jinkx followed me to the kitchen. "How is she doing with the move?"

"From what I've seen it has been okay but only Trixie knows how she is actually feeling."

"I am sure she will be just fine. You seem to really care for her."

"I do. I just want her to see that. Coffee?"

"Oh yes, please." Jinkx sat at the table and smiled. I fixed her a cup of coffee and sat it down in front of her. "Thank you." I sat beside Jinkx.

"I have to ask you something."

"And what is that?"

"Why'd you tell me what was going on and not the cops?"

"As I told you before, she lied for him. But she seemed so soft hearted for you. That day you came and brought her the box of chocolates, she found the box and smiled at the note you left on it. It just takes a bit of time but she was willing because it is you."

"Thank you Jinkx." I heard the bathroom door open as Jinkx and I talked.

"Hey Katya. Oh hello Jinkx."

"Hello Trixie dear. How are you?" Trixie was standing in just a towel looking at the table.

"I am okay."

"That is good to hear." Trixie smiled shyly and looked at me.

"Katya can you come here for a second please?"

"Oh sure." I turned to Jinxk, "I will be back." I followed Trixie to her room. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um I need more bandages. The others got wet."

"Sure thing." I went to my room and grabbed the bandages along with the ointment for Trixie's arms. I walked back in her room and kneeled down in front of her, taking one of her arms in my hands.

"You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"I know, but I want to." Trixie nodded and let me wrap her arm.

"Why is Jinkx here?"

"She came to check on you. Oh, she also brought a cake that she baked."

"That's nice, I guess." I put my hand on Trixie's knee and looked at her.

"Hey, I know you want to protect yourself. We all should, but she wants to see you happy just like I do. Give her a chance just like you're giving me one." Trixie didn't say anything just looked at me. I finished wrapping both of Trixie's arms and stood up. "All done. You don't have to come out. I'll tell her you aren't feeling too good okay?" Trixie nodded and smiled weakly. I kissed the top of her head and walked out of her room, closing the door behind me.

 


	19. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Huh?" Katya looked concerned. 
> 
> "I asked if you are okay? You're not really eating the cake." 
> 
> "I am okay, just not that hungry sorry." Jinkx put her hand on my lower arm and smiled.

Trixie's POV  
Jinkx and Katya talked as I sat there pushing my food back and forth on my plate. I was never a talker but now it was worse. My brain was working overdrive, thinking about the conversion Katya and I had. It was out of nowhere but it was important to her because it kept her from sleeping. Why did she care about my happiness anyway? No one really ever did, it didn't matter. I looked at Katya as she spoke to Jinkx. She was laughing and smiling, she hadn't really done that with me lately. Maybe me telling her what happen and coming to her door that night ruined everything. How can you have a relationship of any kind with someone scared of almost everything that walks. I didn't want Katya to waste her time with me when she could be working on friends. Going out and having fun, I stop her from doing that..don't I? "Trixie, are you okay?" I lifted my head and looked at the two women who were now stating at me. 

"Huh?" Katya looked concerned. 

"I asked if you are okay? You're not really eating the cake." 

"I am okay, just not that hungry sorry." Jinkx put her hand on my lower arm and smiled. 

"No need to be sorry, dear. Maybe you should go rest." I nodded my head and stood up. I walked to my room and closed the door. I crawled in bed and pulled the covers over my head. I could hot tears swelling in my eyes. I really didn't want to cry anymore, it was so fucking stupid. I could feel myself panicking under the covers, my breathing was becoming harsh and my eyes burned. There was a knock at the door, a soft gentle knocked. 

"Uh, come in." I heard the sound of the door followed by the sound of heels. 

"Trixie, dear?" I slowly poked my head from under the covers and saw Jinkx. "Oh, you poor thing. Are you okay?" I shook my head without thinking. Jinkx softly smiled and walked over to me. She sat down a teacup and sat on the bed. She kicked off her heels and pulled her feet on the bed. "I'm gonna help you calm down okay?"

"Okay." She smiled and crawled right beside me. She laid my head on her shoulder and held my hand. She started to hum a song. She rocked us back and forth to the melody of the song she was humming. I could feel my body relax and the tears stop. 'Th...thank you." 

"It is my pleasure."

"Jinkx?" 

"Yes?" 

"May I ask you a question?" 

"Sure." 

"How do you stop being a burden?" Jinkx looked at me and sighed. 

"Do you feel like a burden?"

"A little."

"Well, first you have to figure out why you think that. Then maybe, talk the person who you feel like you're a burden to." 

"That seems hard." 

"It can be, but how can you stop being a burden if you don't know how you are one? I cannot answer that question because I do not see you as a burden. And from what I've heard, Katya doesn't either." 

"How..how'd you know I was talking about Katya?" 

"I can tell that you care for her. The way you look at her says it all. I understand the feeling of wanting to make sure everything is right but you can't know if there is a problem if you don't talk to out. Give it a go." 

"I guess I can." 

"Good." Jinkx reached on the bedside table and grabbed the teacup she had sat down when she walked in. "Here, Katya let me make you some tea. It always calms me down when I am stressing. You seem like you need it. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can call me and I will come down to see you so we can talk." 

"Thank you Jinkx. No one has ever really cared for me." Jinkx put her hand on my arm. 

"Katya cares for you dear. She cares a lot. You should let her." Jinkx got up and slipped on her shoes. She walked to the door and smiled. "I hope you feel better." Jinkx walked out of my room and softly closed the door. I took a sip of the tea and let the warm liquid flow down my throat. I clicked off the lamp on the bedside table after finishing the tea. I sunk down in the bed and breathed a deep breathe as I thought about what all that had happen in my life so far. The pain and hurt caused by men who said they loved me, the love that I ran from because I was scared of it and now the people who wanted to care for me. I really didn't want to run anymore because running got me nowhere, I was stuck running in place. Never going toward but always somehow going backwards. I ran from home and into the arms of another who hurt me. I ran and never looked back, I ran without thinking. I wanted to take it slow this time. I wanted to give myself time to heal and to grow. Time to accept everything that happen and learn from it. I just needed time and Katya was okay with waiting and helping me along the way.


	20. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Katya, you are more than enough."
> 
> "I don't feel that way."

Katya's POV  
I flipped through the channels, bored out of my mind. I looked at my door, hoping that Trixie could come lay with me. I felt like I was going about this all wrong. Maybe I wasn't enough to help Trixie. I just wanted to be for her what I didn't have when I was with my ex boyfriend. After three years of not dating guys, the first guy I decide to get a chance is a prick. Even though Alex wasn't physically abusive, the mental and emotional abuse was enough for me. It wasn't easy remembering those two years, not because I didn't want to but because it was painful. I wanted to remember so I would never make the same mistake ever again. I never told anyone because I didn't wanna be some pity case but after relapsing, I had to. It was the source of the problem and it had to be addressed. I just wish I had said something before, or wish I had let someone in. Trixie is way stronger than I was, that is for sure. Trixie hadn't been out of her room in a few hours, but I waited. Waited and waited. Jinxk listened to me when I expressed my concerns, and let me know that they were valid. I wanted to make sure Trixie was happy, she needed to be happy. She deserves it. I ran my fingers through my hair and sat up. I cracked my neck and crawled out of bed. After I grabbed my towel, I walked to the bathroom. I started the water and sat on the side of the tub. Maybe I was over thinking all of them. Over thinking all of my insecurities. I wanted to help Trixie but maybe she didn't need my help, or maybe she didn't want my help. Before I knew it, I was crying. Crying because I didn't feel good enough to help a friend. A friend that I was starting to love. A friend who I loved more than I loved others. I started crying uncontrollably. I could feel water run over my back but I didn't care. I could barely move, I could barely feel myself breathing. "Katya..Katya? Are you okay?" I looked up to see Trixie rubbing her eyes. She leaned over me and turned off the water. She grabbed a few towels and cleaned up the water that ran out of the tub. She kneeled down and looked at me. "Katya, what's wrong?" I shook my head and stayed silent. "Please, talk to me Katya. Let me be here for you."

"I..I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Not being enough."

"Enough for what?"

"You. Enough to help you." Trixie sat beside me and put her hand on my knee.

"Katya, you are more than enough."

"I don't feel that way."

"Katya, look at me please." I forced myself to look at Trixie. She had a small smile on her face. A welcoming smile. "Kat, you tell me that you want me to come to you. You tell me that you are here to help me and that you are here to listen to me. Well, I am here for you. Your problems matter to me just like mine matter to you. This can't be a one sided friendship. I want to care for you like you care for me."

"Really?"

"Of course. You are important to me, and I know it may not seem like it because I'm always sad it seems like but I am thankful for you. You are making life better for me and you may not know that. But Kat," Trixie squeezed my hand as she looked me in my eyes. "I was worse than this before you came around. I didn't see a point in life before. I thought I was only meant to feel pain and sorrow. I didn't think I'd ever be happy or even feel any thing close to it. You asked me if I had ever felt happiness and the answer is yes. I feel it with you, I feel safe with you. Katya, you are more than enough for me and anyone else. I am so happy to be able to call you a friend. My world had fallen apart at such a young age and I never thought I'd be okay, but then my Russian caped crusader flew in and saved me. I could never repay you or thank you enough Katya, because you've done so much more than I thought I deserved." I hugged Trixie, crying into her hair. She wrapped her arms around me and rubbed my back. All my life I had to be okay, I had to push past all the feelings I had because everyone thought it meant I was gonna fall. When all I wanted was to sit down for a bit. They never think I'll get back up, but Trixie didn't care. She made sure I knew she would be there if I was on my feet or not.

 


	21. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's what friends are for."
> 
> "Well, you're a pretty great fucking friend." I kissed Katya's head as I hugged her. 
> 
> "I think you are too."

Trixie's POV  
I sat next to Katya on the bathroom floor, her head laid on my shoulder. "Um, I have my first therapy appointment today." 

"Do you?" 

"Yeah, I looked through the list you gave me and picked one. It is later today at 5. I'm kinda scared." Katya grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes. 

"It's okay, you don't have to go." 

"I don't have to but I need to. I have a lot that I need to work through and I don't want to throw it all on you." 

"I understand." I smiled at Katya and hugged her. 

"I'll be okay, I promise." 

"I know you will, and thank you." I pulled back from the hug a little. 

"For what?" 

"Helping me, talking to me, just sitting with me." 

"Oh, it's nothing." 

"For me it is something. I've always had to help others and basically handle my problems on my own. Can I tell you something?" I nodded my head as I looked at Katya. "It is nice to have someone be here and not judge me. I used to be into drugs really bad. When I first tried them I told myself, I wouldn't get addicted. I said I would keep my shit together but that shit is easier said than done. It is way easier to get sucked in. I had a rough time in my life a while back so I got deeper in the drugs, it was a way to escape the outside world of pain. I got clean, but relapsed two years ago. It hit me hard but hit my family and friends harder. I found out that when I got high, I got too high. Dangerous levels of high, but when I did it this time it wasn't for high. It was for death to be honest, I wanted to just not feel pain at all and if that meant death then at the time I was okay with that." Katya looked up and sighed. "It is crazy to think that something can send someone too far over the edge that at a moment in time they can forget all their loved ones. But that is what I did, I didn't think about my friends or my mother. It was just me and my pain in my bathroom. My best friend came home and found me, she called 911 and I was rushed to the hospital. I spent a while getting better but even sometimes questioning if I am actually okay. I hated spending so much of my life being a burden that I moved from my home. I couldn't face the hurt that I caused the people I loved, so it was easier to move also. I hate being a problem so here I am, but the fact that I can't move on from that shit is also why I am here. Sitting on the bathroom floor."

"Well, you haven't judged me, even though I stayed with someone abusive asshole. Even though I pushed you away, you helped me when I needed it. I can't say I know how you feel because we all feel different ways but I will say that I will do all I can to help you. To make you feel like you can be open with someone, because I want you to be. I want to be the friend that you are to me." I held Katya's hand and smiled. "Thank you for being here." 

"That's what friends are for."

"Well, you're a pretty great fucking friend." I kissed Katya's head as I hugged her. 

"I think you are too."

After Katya's shower, we sat on her bed and watched horror movies. She sat with one arm around me and the other on her leg. She traced circles into my leg, sending shivers up and down my spine. "This movie is dumb."

"Katya, I told you it would be."

"Well, I had hope."

"Misplaced hope." Katya pitched my thigh and smiled. "Hey, stop that you bitch." 

"Aw, that wasn't nice, you hurt my feelings." 

"Oh, I did not. You are such a liar." Katya smiled and kissed my cheek. 

"How are you feeling about your appointment later?"

"I dunno, I'm trying to not think about it to be honest."

"I understand, but hey when you are done you can come home and we can talk about it. How does that sound?"

"It sounds amazing, thank you Katya." Katya went back to watching the movie, but I was too busy thinking about what I should say and more about what I shouldn't say. 

It had been about a hour and a half, and here I was sitting on the floor trying to find something to wear. It seemed inappropriate to wear something pink, but think again that was most of my clothes. I laid on the floor, covered my face with my hands and groaned. "Ugh, this is fucking pointless."

"Is it really?" I looked behind me and sighed as Katya smiled at me. 

"I can't find anything to wear." Katya walked to my closet and laughed.

"You must be crazy, you have so many things to chose from."

"Katya, all my clothes are just I don't know.."

"All of your clothes are you, what are you talking about?" I sat up and stared at Katya. Katya grabbed a pink dress and held it up.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Too pink." 

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, yes I am." Katya crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. 

"Okay, now about this,  I will pick what you wear while you go take a shower, that way you won't have time to say no to me and waste more time trying to find something. Sound good?"

"Not really, but I've seen that there is no point in telling you no."

"Good, now go take a shower." Katya threw me my towel and pushed my out of my room. I walked to the bathroom and started to undress. Just as I was about to step into the shower, the bathroom door opened. Katya peeked her head inside with a smile. Hey, Trix?" I covered myself with my towel and yelled.

"Katya, what the hell?"

"I was just wondering, do you want me to chose your painties and bra also?" I shook my head and deadpanned at Katya. 

"Katya, are you being serious?"

"Of course I am, you have to look good from top to bottom."

"What does my underwear and bra have to do with that?"

"Hmm, you're right. You look good anyway." Katya winked at me then closed the door. I stood in the  middle of the bathroom, staring at the door. 

"What in the hell?" I shook my head with a smile on my face and finally stepped into the shower. The hot water felt amazing and helped me to relax. I took a few deep breathes as I washed my hair. Katya had bounced back so fast from her breakdown, it was kinda cool. I was never able to bounce back when I was down. It was always a problem for me, a problem for me to pick myself back up after someone had knocked me down. Katya was different from me though. She cried, let me help, and got over it after. Although truth be told, I was better now than I had been for a while and it was all because of Katya's help. I probably would never have the courage to tell her, but she was such a lifesaver and I wanted to repay her some day. I turned off the shower, got out and walked out of the bathroom back to my room. 

"Oh, you're done. Okay, so this is what I picked." Katya pointed to a simple pair of jeans and a pink sweater. "This is cute and simple. Not too much and it looks comfy, so I thought it would be nice." I walked to my bed and sat next to Katya.

"I think it is nice, thank you Katya."

"No problem, but I am going go to my room. You go ahead and get changed." Katya smiled at me and walked to the door. "Oh hey Trixie?"

"Yeah?"

"How about I drive you to the appointment?"

"You'd do that?"

"Of course, then after we could maybe go see a movie then get dinner."

"That sounds nice Katya, thank you." Katya winked at me and walked out of my room to her own. I looked at the jeans and sweater. There was no doubting it, Katya was the sweetest person I had ever met.


	22. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, how was it?" 
> 
> "It was okay, not like I thought it would be." 
> 
> "I'm proud of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so...I'm so sorry for the late updates. My birthday was today therefore today was a mess. But I hope you guys can forgive me and enjoy the updates❤

Trixie's POV  
"You'll do great Trix, don't worry." Katya and I had been sitting in the parking lot, looking at the office building of the Dr. Caldwell Tidicure, the therapist I was seeing today. 

"I can't help but worry." Katya put her hand on my thigh, and smiled at me softly. 

"Hey, I know it is a big step but I am here, I promise." 

"I have just never done anything like this before. It is all too much, kinda. Kinda scary."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I had to try therapy."

"Why?"

"Remember when I told you about my relapse? That is why. I had to go to therapy to try and find a way to help myself, because I wasn't. I was so busy hiding from the problems that they made more problems. It's crazy how something hidden in the dark can grow and multiply when left by itself. It festers and just consumes, and that is what happen. My ex boyfriend was fucked up and I didn't know how bad until I started having problems because of what he said to me, because of what he did to me. I saw myself as this waste of space, trash, worthy of nothing but shit. It started to weigh down on me, made me change the way I dressed, the way I talked to people, the way I saw life really. It's what lead me to trying drugs, hard drugs. I tried to use them to forget, forget that I was some mess. Not because I actually was though but because I was made to believe that. Trixie, abuse is something that can last years after it is actually over. The mental abuse can follow you through your life if you don't get help. I want you to get help Trix, not because you are weak or anything but because I want you to have the best life for yourself." I could feel myself crying, I could feel my heart feeling a little bit lighter. I undid my seat belt and leaned over, hugging Katya. She wrapped her arms around me and chuckled softly. "You're going to do just fine, I know it."

"Thank you Katya, forever. I don't deserve any of it."

"You deserve it all."

"Why do you say that?" I pulled back from Katya a little so I could look in her eyes. 

"How about we talk about that later? You have an appointment to get to. I will be waiting for you but don't rush okay?" I nodded my head and took a deep breathe. I opened the car door and got out. I walked to the door, turned back and waved at Katya before walking inside. I looked around and felt a little better that no one was here. I walked to the front desk where a lady with red hair was typing on a keyboard. 

"Um hello, I am here for an appointment." 

"Okay dear, name?" 

"Trixie, um I mean Beatrice Mattel." The red haired lady looked through a clipboard and smiled.

"Dr. Tidicure is waiting for you in his office. Last room on the right." 

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome dear." I smiled a little and walked to the back. I stopped before I reached the open door and room a deep breathe. I knocked on the open door and peeked inside. 

"Come in." I walked into the office and stopped when I saw a man sitting in a chair. 

"Uh I'm here to see Dr. Tidicure." 

"Well here I am, and please call me Bob. Please, come sit." I walked further in the office and sat on the red little sofa across from Bob.

"My name is Trix-I mean Beatrice." 

"It is nice to meet you Beatrice. How are you today?"

"Nervous." 

"I understand that. But we can move at your pace, I am here to help you." 

"Thank you." 

"My pleasure, so what brings you in today." 

"Uh, I need help."

"Okay, help with what may I ask?" 

"Me, I guess. I'm a mess." 

"Beatrice, first rule in my office we are not messes. We can't be cleaned with household products, no window cleaner or anything. You are a person that has problems just like the rest of us okay?" 

"Okay. Well, I um..I was in an abusive relationship with my ex boyfriend."

"Are you safe now?" 

"Yes I am. I live with a friend now, she's out in the parking lot waiting for me. Her name is Katya." 

"Can you tell me about Katya?" 

"Oh, you don't want to hear about the relationship first?" 

"No, I want you to feel safe. To have a safe anchor, and it seems like Katya is that for you so let's use her." I nodded my head and cleared my throat. 

"Well, we met in the laundry room of the apartment complex we both lived in. It was like 3am, I always went late because people make me nervous. The only reason I talked to her was because of her cat, well that was the thing that gave us a way to talk."

"It is the little things that can open doors." 

"That is very true."

Dr. Tidicure and I talked for a hour and a half. After the first 30 minutes I was a bit more relaxed. As we were walking out of his office, I decided to make another appointment. "Thank you so much Dr. Tidicure, this wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." 

"Well, I am glad to hear that Trixie. Remember to relax more okay and try to talk to Katya when you need help, okay?"

"Okay." Dr. Tidicure and I walked into the lobby. I smiled as soon as I saw Katya. She was sitting in a chair, reading some weird booklet. Katya put the booklet down when she saw me. I waved bye to Dr. Tidicure and walked outside with Katya. 

"So, how was it?" 

"It was okay, not like I thought it would be." 

"I'm proud of you." 

"Um me too." 

"Ready to get some food now?" 

"Yeah, I am kinda hungry." Katya held my hand as we walked. I really felt like life was turning around for me and I was excited for it.


	23. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Violent but sweet." 
> 
> "That's what I am baby doll."

Katya's POV  
Trixie and I decided to eat at a pizza place, which was fine by me. We sat in the booths, waiting for our pizza. Trixie was a bit more relaxed than she was before. I wanted to talk to her about her appointment so I could she how she felt about. I just didn't know how to bring it up in a conversation, best thing to do was to just go for it. "Hey, how are you feeling?" Trixie looked up from her soda and smiled at me. 

"I feel okay, better about everything."

"Everything?"

"You know, life I guess?" I raised an eyebrow as I played with my straw. Trixie chuckled and shook her head. "I sound crazy, don't I?"

"No, I just want you to keep talking, explain how you are feeling and what you are thinking?"

"Oh."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no. No one ever cared to listen and it just gets me every time that you do. I will never get used to, never get used to the way you treat me. I am so used to being used and just thrown to the side. Then you come in and just change everything up."

"Is that bad?"

"No, just new. We talked about you."

"Who?"

"My therapist and I."

"Why?"

"Uh, he said I needed a safe anchor." 

"And that's me?" 

"Um I guess, I hope you don't think that is weird or anything." 

"No, anything that can help you is good." 

"You help me." I smiled and took a sip of my soda. 

"Well, I'm glad I can."

"I'll be okay Katya."

"Huh?"

"I said I'll be okay. I know you are probably worried about me."

"It's only because I care." 

"I know it is, that's why I don't have a problem talking to you. If anything is ever wrong. I will tell you." 

"Thanks Trixie." Trixie went back to playing with a napkin, looking down. "Hey Trixie?"

"Yeah?" 

"Do you think you could ever move on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno, like dating wise?" 

"I mean, I don't know. I thought about it but.."

"But?" 

"Mike was the only boyfriend I ever had."

"So?"

"So, I don't think I'll be any good for any body else. No one wants some broken piece of trash." 

"Trixie, you're not trash. Anyone would be lucky to have you babe, you're fucking awesome." Trixie brought her eyes to mine and smiled softly. 

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do Trix. You are such a sweet person, and if someone says otherwise I'll take my boot to their face. And that is a promise."

"Violent but sweet." 

"That's what I am baby doll." Trixie shook her head as she looked at me. Ever since I met Trixie, her little smile was something I wanted in my life forever. I had already accepted the fact that I had feelings for her, but I couldn't do anything about it. She had only been out of that relationship for about three months now. No matter how much I knew I could make her happy, I was going to have to do it as her friend. 

Trixie and I spent the rest of the day in the living room. We went through tho seasons of some murder mystery show while eating popcorn. It was around 1am and Trixie had her head laid on me. She had been sleep for about a hour and I just didn't have the heart to wake her up. It had been about a week since Trixie had a nightmare, I made sure to keep track. I told Trixie that she could sleep with me whenever she needed so it became a regular thing. We would start on our own sides of my bed then before long, she would be laying on me. I softly moved her hair out of her face and kissed her head. I whispered that say 'I love you' as I always did. I knew Trixie didn't hear me but I still wanted to say it. I could feel myself slowly falling asleep. I didn't feel like moving so I pulled the blanket on the far end of the sofa over Trixie and I. Red found his way on the arm on the sofa. I smiled as I closed my eyes and held Trixie tighter in my arms.


	24. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thank you doll. I will see you when I get home okay?"
> 
> "Okay."

*Four months later*

Trixie's POV  
I was doing so much better. Katya and I had become closer, and I wasn't having as many problems as before. Life was getting better and it was all thanks to Katya and her wanting to help me. She was the reason I went to see Bob, the reason Kim and I were talking again, and the reason I can go out in public without freaking out. Katya still didn't know how I felt about her even though I really wanted her to know. Kim said that I should just go for it and well so did Jinkx, but it wasn't that easy for me. I didn't want to open up a can of worms that I couldn't close. "Trixie?"

"Yeah?" I stuck my head out of the kitchen and smiled at Katya. 

"Have you seen my car keys?"

"Yeah, I put them on the hook by the door. You left them in the door last night after you got back home." 

"Shit, thank you. I have no idea what I would do without you here with me."

"To be honest, I have no idea what you would do neither."

"Smartass. Hey, you still going to your appointment today?"

"I sure am." Katya walked to me, she stood in front of me and smiled softly. "What is it?"

"I'm so proud of you." 

"For what?"

"You haven't missed a single appointment, even when you were sick. You pushed through your fear and everything to the help you needed." 

"Well, I wanted to get better. I had to."

"I'm glad you are better." Katya looked at her watch and cursed. "I got to get going. Are you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself?"

"Katya, it is only for a day."

"Well, yeah but.."

"There are no buts. I will be okay, you go get your mother. I'm excited to meet her." 

"Ha, she is excited to meet you too. Ever since she heard you singing over the phone, she has been in love with you." 

"Shut up, I am still embarrassed about that." 

"It was cute." Katya hugged me and kissed my head. "I'll see you when I get back." I waved bye to Katya as she rushed out of the door. I brought my hand to my cheek and sighed. If only Katya knew what she made me feel. I finished up the dishes and ran to my room to get ready. 

After a calming drive, I had made it to my appointment. Just on time, as always. I held the tin of cookies that I baked close to me. I wanted to thank Bob for helping me as much as he did. I smiled as I walked to the front desk. "He is already waiting for you dear."

"Thank you." I knocked on Bob's office door before walking in. He was sitting at his desk with his glasses on, looking down at a file. 

"Oh hello Trixie." 

"Hello." 

"Please have a seat." Bob walked around his desk and sat in the chair across from the red sofa that I had gotten so used to. "How are you today?"

"I am good." 

"Still writing in your journal?"

"Yes, every day and night. Sometimes even three times a day when I need it."

"You are making such good progress Trixie."

"Thank you. Katya told me she was proud of me."

"That reminds me.."

"Huh?"

"I would like to talk about Katya today."

"Oh, I thought you said I didn't need a safe anchor anymore."

"I mean your feelings for her Trixie."

"Oh, those?"

"Yes, those."

"Well, I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

"If I want to make those known?"

"You told me that you did."

"Yeah, I know but.."

"Trixie, how far do you expect to get in life by stopping yourself with the word 'but' all the time?"

"I don't know. I guess I just, I don't want to mess any of this up. Katya and I are good as just friends."

"I know you are, I'm not saying that you should throw your friendship away. What I am saying is that you cannot hide from these feelings and keep them bottled up."

"Why?"

"Trixie, we both know that hurts you more than helps you. From what you told me about Katya, she is quite understanding."

"She is."

"Then try okay? You two could even come in and talk about it."

"I will think about it."

"Okay. Now, on to a different subject."

"Oh no."

"You know, that is always your reaction and I really don't know how to feel about it." Bob smiled at me calmly. I knew it was going to come up sooner or later, but how do you tell your new best friend that you are in love with them? 

After my appointment yesterday, I decided I wanted to make dinner for Katya's mom. I woke up around 6 this morning and pushed myself to go shopping. Katya texted me and told me that she would be back at about 10pm. I had no reason to be nervous about meeting Katya's mom, but then again that was my thing. I loaded all of the things I had gotten into the car. It was hard to walk, considering that my feet were covered in snow. I made it back home after maybe a hour. I made a few trips, taking everything up to the apartment. After I put everything away, I went to my room and changed into something a little more comfortable. I walked to the kitchen, turned on some music and got to preparing everything I needed. As I washed some of the fresh vegetables I had bought, my phone started to ring. I looked at my phone and smiled when I saw that it was Katya, I answered it and smiled even bigger when I heard her laughing. "Trixie!" I pulled my phone away from my ear as I shook my head.

"Gosh, why are you yelling Katya?" 

"Oh, sorry baby doll. But I got a another cat."

"What?"

"I got a new cat Trix, well my mom got her for us."

"Us?"

"Yes, she said that I have Red and you need a cat of your own, so I guess she got her for you." 

"Katya, she didn't have to do that."

"Well, I couldn't really do anything about it. When I got to her hotel, she already had the cat."

"That is sweet of her, really."

"Hey Trix?"

"Hmm?"

"How are you?"

"Oh, I'm okay. I went to the store a few hours ago."

"For?"

"That is a surprise."

"Ohh, fancy. Hey, did you save me some of those cookies you baked?"

"Katya, I told you that those weren't for you."

"But Trixie, cookies."

"We can bake some together."

"Okay, sounds like a plan. Oh, I have something important that was supposed to come in the mall. Has it come?"

"Oh shit, I haven't went down to check. I will go now." Katya chuckled and I could hear that huge ass smile she always wears. 

"Thank you doll. I will see you when I get home okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh and Trixie?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you, I want the biggest hug when I get home."

"Okay, I think I can manage that." 

"Thank you."


	25. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Because mom, I just know."
> 
> "Hmm, you're scared."
> 
> "I am not!"

Katya's POV  
After talking to Trixie, the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. I was tired from driving around, but that wasn't gonna happen. I walked out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth and taking a shower. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, my mom was sitting on the bed smiling at me. "No mom."

"I didn't say anything."

"Your eyes said it all, and the answer is no."

"Fine, what was I gonna ask?"

"Are you dating her yet?" My mom put her book down and sighed. 

"Why not dear?" I sat on the bed as I dried my hair. 

"Mom, I just I don't think I'm what she needs."

"It seems like you are. Katya, how do you know if you never talk about it?"

"Because mom, I just know."

"Hmm, you're scared."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are."

"Fine, since you know everything. What am I scared of?"

"Her not feeling the same way. And I never said I knew everything but I do know my daughter."

"Mom, I just don't want to mess anything up."

"I understand but how long do you think you can hide?"

"I'm not hiding."

"Yes you are Katya. Do you remember when you wanted that little Russian doll for your birthday?"

"Yeah, the one in the toy store window."

"That very one. We would pass it every day but you never said anything, you just looked out of the window as we drove by it."

"Okay, what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, do you remember when you got the doll?" I nodded my head as I looked at my mother. "You said it was the happiest day of your life because you had finally gotten it. Katya, why keep yourself from true happiness? Why do you keep yourself from the things you love?"

"I don't know." My mother put her hand on my leg as she smiled at me. 

"Dear, you don't have to carry everyone all the time. You can be happy too, you can take a break and go searching for your own happiness." 

"But.."

"No buts. Katya, you deserve happiness okay?"

"Okay mom, thank you."

"Anytime, now get off of my bed so I can sleep." My mom laughed as she pushed me off of her bed with her foot. I shook my head and turned off the lamp on the bedside table. I crawled into my bed and pulled the covers over me. I wondered how Trixie was sleeping, or even if she was sleeping. I really couldn't wait until I felt her in my arms. Trixie had easily become a big part of my life. Between her and Red, I had the best life I could think of. All of the moments we spent together flooded my thoughts. 

"Katya?"

"Huh?"

"I don't wanna do this."

"What, why?"

"Because I hate shopping."

"Trixie, you need some new stuff."

"But why?"

"Because I said so." I took Trixie's hand and pulled her into the mall. We spent so much time walking from store to store. Trixie told me how she had been saving money ever since high school. She said at first it would be used to get a car and then that goal changed to trying to earn enough to get away from Mike. Trixie told me that she didn't need it for those reasons anymore so she wanted to go shopping. She quickly changed her mind though. 

"I think I like this." Trixie smiled as she held up a mini skirt. I turned to look at Trixie and started to cough. 

"Oh, um that's nice." 

"Do you think so?"

"Yep."

"Well, I'm gonna try it on. You sit there and I'll let you see." I nodded calmly as I screamed on the inside. I sat in a chair, waiting for Trixie. "Katya?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Um, I don't know about it."

"Come on, let me see."

"Do I have to?"

"I would like you to." Trixie sighed and stepped from behind the curtain. The only thing I could do was stare. Trixie looked amazing. The skirt showed her legs, the legs that seemed to go on for miles. The color of the skirt was a pink that went well against Trixie's skin tone. 

"Katya.."

"Uh yeah, sorry."

"Well, what do you think?"

"You look great in that skirt Trixie."

"Do you actually think so?"

"Yes, I do. That one is a winner for sure." Trixie ran over to me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her as I chuckled. "Woah, what's this about?"

"You make me feel so good about myself." I smiled as I moved a piece of Trixie's hair out of her face. I put my hand on her cheek as I looked in her eyes. 

"Because you should feel that way. You are the most beautiful girl I've ever met so therefore I will treat you as such." Trixie put her hand on mine as she looked in my eyes. 

"Thank you Katya." The rest of that day was filled with Trixie and I just being with each other. She held my hand as we walked through the mall, as I ordered our food, and as she ordered tea. Trixie had grown so much and I couldn't help but be proud of her. I also couldn't help but fall in love with her. My heart belonged to that pink haired beauty and even if she didn't know it, I was still happy to know her.


	26. Trixie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You killed him?"
> 
> "Nah, not yet anyway."

Trixie's POV

   I couldn't sleep at all last night. I tried everything. Warm milk, white noise, rain forest sounds, I even tried counting sheep. I would usually crawl in bed with Katya when this happen. It was crazy how much Katya helped me with so much. When it hit 6 am, I just fully stopped trying. Katya and her mother were supposed to come home today, which made my sleepless night feel like nothing. I decided that I would start cooking around 4pm. I had already prepared all of the things I needed for the meal I planned on cooking, so the only thing I needed to do now was actually cook it. 

I was happy to be able to cook what I actually wanted to cook and not get shit for it. Mike wanted what he wanted and there was no questioning it. I shook my head as I looked at the clock. I had three hours until I would see Katya. She said they would be here at about 7 tonight, hopefully. My thoughts were interrupted by Red meowing at my feet. "Awe, do you miss Katya too baby?" I picked up the cat as I sighed. "I miss her so much Red. Hmm, would you wanna go for a walk? I know Katya walks you, I don't know why but she does." I put Red down and walked to the door. I grabbed Red's leash and put it on his collar. 

I was so happy to get out of the apartment, and it seemed like Red was too. I walked Red for about a hour before we started our walk back to the apartment. Before going in the elevator, I stopped to check Katya's mailbox. It was about 6 so I was running a little late but I'm sure Katya would be okay with that. I jammed to music as I opened Katya's mailbox. I jammed until I felt someone softly grab me by my arm. The person took out one of my ear buds and my heart dropped when I heard who was behind me. "Hey baby, where ya been?"

"Mi..Mike."

"Yeah baby, turn around so I can see you." I slowly turned to face Mike. "You look good, really good."

"T..thank you. Um, I should be going."

"Oh, but hold up. I wanna talk to you baby, how you been?"

"I've been ok."

"That's good. Hey, where you been?" I didn't want to answer his question, I barely wanted to talk to Mike. But I really didn't want him to know where I'd been. "Hey, hey I've changed. You don't gotta worry about me hurting you or anything. You can trust me."

"No..I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you always say you've changed but you never do Mike. You never do. I fall for it every time but I'm not again."

"Baby just come home and we can work this out."

"I am not your baby and I sure as hell am not going anywhere with you. I would be stupid to."

"Beatrice.." Mike's grip on my arm tighten a little as he said my name. "Don't make me mad baby doll. You know, I hate getting mad at you. So, just make me happy and come back home. We can kiss and make up, well maybe more than just a kiss." I held back tears as I looked down at Red. 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Uh huh, but I was walking my friend's cat. She is out of town so she asked me to. So can I put him back in her apartment and feed him?"

"Walk a cat? Do you think I'm stupid or something?" 

"No, but you're blind as hell."

"What?" I pointed at Red, who was still on his leash. "Oh, okay. Well I'm coming up with you."

"I see nothing wrong with that." Mike let go of me but held his hand on the small of my back as we walked. We got onto the elevator and I picked Red up immediately. I didn't want Mike to even have any chance to touch me. When he reached out, Red attacked him. "Hey, I have to call my friend to let her know I'm dropping Red off, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever." Mike was busy looking at his phone. I pulled my phone out and dialed Katya's number, she picked up after two rings. 

"Hey Trixie, we are on our way home."

"Uh, hey. That is good, I walked Red like you asked me to."

"Walked Red? I didn't ask you to, I told you I would."

"I am going to feed him before I go home, don't worry." 

"Trixie..I am like 10 minutes away okay?"

"Mmhmm."

"You will be okay, I promise. Just stay calm and don't you dare go to his apartment."

"Okay I understand, use the dry food with the liquid from the wet food."

"Can you keep me on the phone and just put it in your pocket?"

"Yeah, I'll make sure to keep you updated. I know he hasn't been feeling well."

"Good, I love you Trixie."

"Mmmhmm. Bye now." I put my phone back in my pocket without ending the call. I took a deep breathe and held in tears when Mike stepped closer. As soon as the elevator doors opened, Mike grabbed my arm.

"No games Beatrice." I smiled and unlocked Katya's apartment. I set Red down after turning on the light. "Alright go do what you need and then we are leaving Oh, and you're cooking for me when we get done in the bedroom. I can't wait until we get home. My dick has missed you in every way, it misses being touched by a woman." I walked in the kitchen and pulled out Red's food. I looked at the clock on the wall and tried my best to hold it together. I was trying my very best, I couldn't help but get a little antsy though. 

"Hey Mike, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Okay well hurry up." I nodded and rushed to the bathroom. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket as I took a deep breathe. 

"Katya..are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm outside the apartment. Where are you?"

"In the bathroom?"

"Good, stay in there alright."

"Okay.

"Don't come out until I say so."

"Okay." I sat on the floor after locking the door. I put my knees to my chest and tried not to have a panic attack. I heard the front door open and then Katya's voice, followed by Mike's. The calm voices turned into yelling and after a bit, the yelling turned into silence. 

"Trixie? Baby, come here!" I walked out into the living room and gasped when I saw Mike laying in the floor, blood on his face. 

"Katya, w..what happen?"

"I went through with what I told him. I said that if he ever came near you again, I'd kill him."

"You killed him?"

"Nah, not yet anyway."

"Katya, you can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Fine." Katya kneeled beside Mike and lifted his head by his hair. She slapped him a few times until he opened his eyes. "Hey, fucker wake up. Come you pig, you were talking real big earlier." Katya stood up and rolled Mike over with her foot. She stepped on his dick with her heel and turned her foot. Mike screamed in pain. 

"Get off of me you crazy bitch."

"Oh, but isn't this a woman's touch. You said your dick missed it."

"Trixie, you better get this bitch." Katya connected her foot to Mike's face. 

"Watch what you say to her big boy, well I should say little man." Katya kneeled down again and held Mike's face. "You're gonna say sorry and you're gonna mean it."

"And if I don't?"

"Well, I'll make sure to follow through with what I told you. I'll rip off your tiny teeny little friend there and guess what I'm gonna do with it? Don't you wanna guess Mikey?" Mike was silent but his eyes screamed fear. "I'm gonna make you eat it while I beat the shit out of you. You got that?"

"Yeah, whatever." Katya stood up and kicked Mike. 

"Wrong answer."

"Alright, alright I'm sorry Trixie. I'm sorry." 

"Come on, for what Mikey?"

"For being shit." 

"Good boy." Katya turned and smiled at me. "Baby, do you forgive this piece of shit? It's okay if you don't." I took a deep breathe and kneeled down, looking in Mike's eyes. I smiled softly and spit in his face. 

"I forgive him." 

"Awe, she forgives you. Okay, you get your ass up and get the fuck out of my apartment. Get the fuck out of this apartment complex, shit you can get the fuck out of this city." Mike stood up as he held his side. He limped out of the apartment, and closed the door behind himself. Katya took a deep breathe as she she turned around. "Hey, I'll clean up the blood okay? You can go sleep, I know you must be tired." I ran into Katya's arms, tears pouring from my eyes. "Hey, baby I got you okay? He won't be back." I looked into Katya's eyes and before I could stop it, my lips were against hers.


	27. Katya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Katya, isn't she the cutest?"
> 
> "Yeah, she is."

Katya's POV  
I let Trixie kiss me for a bit before I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back. I felt all of my worries become nothing but meaningless thoughts while I kissed Trixie. I pulled away slowly and smiled. Trixie's eyes were staring into mine, the soft brown making my heart race faster than it ever had before. "Sorry Katya, but I had to."

"Don't be sorry, I've wanted to kiss you for so long now." Trixie smiled and laid her head against my chest. 

"I was scared Katya, thank you for saving me...again. I know you probably get tired of it."

"I'll never get tired saving you, or you at all." 

"Oh, where is your mom?"

"Well, I told her to stay in the car until I was don't helping you. She is probably downstairs in the lobby though, knowing her."

"Do you want me to go get her while you get cleaned up?"

"That sounds good, and I want you to sleep with me tonight okay?"

"I would like that."

"Okay, you go get my mom and I'll go get cleaned up." I gave Trixie a quick kiss on the cheek before going to my room. I closed my door and leaned against it, taking a deep breathe. Trixie kissed me, holy fucking shit. I brought my fingertips to my lips, touching my lips softly. Her lips were soft, softer than I could have ever imagined. It seemed like a dream, but then again Trixie herself seemed like a dream. Every time I held her close to me in my arms, it felt like a dream. I could feel her touch but somehow it still felt unreal to me. 

After washing my face and getting blood off of my hands, I changed my clothes. I made sure that I looked decent before walking back into the living room. My mother was watching Trixie and her new cat. "Hello ladies." Trixie looked up at me with a smile. 

"Katya, isn't she the cutest?"

"Yeah, she is." 

"Oh, I am sorry. I was supposed to have dinner done by now but you know.." I was going to say something to Trixie, something to make her feel better but my mother said something before I could. 

"Trixie, dear I am just happy to know you are okay. Your safety is more important than food, okay?" My mom put her hand on Trixie's shoulder and smiled. 

"Okay, thank you."

"Anytime dear. But this old lady needs some rest so I'll be getting to bed now. I hope you can excuse me Trixie for not being able to hang with you young women."

"Oh no, it's okay. I totally understand." My mother stood up and walked to the hall. She stopped beside me with a smile on her face. 

"Katya?"

"Yes?"

"Good job."

"Thanks mom." My mom nodded her head and walked into the room she was staying in tonight. I sat beside Trixie and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into a hug. 

"Katya!"

"What? I told you I want the biggest hug ever when I got back. I missed you Trixie."

"Katya, you weren't gone for that long."

"Yeah I know, but that just shows me how much you mean to me."

"Oh, is that what it is?"

"Yes, it is." 

"I missed you too Katya."

"I knew you would."

"Shut up." I smiled as I played with a piece of lace on Trixie's shirt. 

"So."

"So?"

"You know I like you right?"

"Hmm, I didn't. Do you know that I like you?"

"Had no idea." 

"Really?"

"Mmhmm." Trixie laced her fingers in mine and laid her head on my chest. It was a feeling I grew to love, her head on my chest. It was sometimes hard to sleep when she wasn't sleeping with me. We weren't dating, but I had gotten used to so much.

"Katya?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Huh?"

"I said I love you."

"Where'd that come from?"

"You've said it so many times, and I haven't said it back."

"Oh, well I do."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure thing."

"When you came by the apartment and dropped off those chocolates, did you say it?"

"Want the honest truth?" 

"Yes."

"Yeah, I said it."

"Why?"

"I don't know really. My heart felt like saying it, so I said it. Ever since we met, my heart has felt a pull towards you. I couldn't do anything about it though, and even now I feel like I can't do anything about it. You are right here but so out of reach."

"Why?"

"Because you have to heal, you have to get over all the shit that has happen to you. And then I think, she will find someone who will help her, someone who will make her forget the pain. I'm okay with being your friend and helping you until you find that person."

"Katya, you have helped me with that. If it wasn't for you, I would still be with Mike. Or maybe, I'd be dead somewhere in a dumpster. Katya, you've done so much for me. More than I've done for myself. I was so used to being given nothing but trash that I just let it happen. But you've shown me that I don't have to take what people give me. You've showed me my worth and you give me double that." 

"Because that is what you mean to me silly. Your worth is unending, unmeasured." I put my hand on Trixie's cheek as I looked in her eyes. "I have been meaning to ask you something Trixie."

"Okay."

"Trixie, would you be mine?"

"I would love that Katya."

"Good. Hey, did you sleep last night?"

"No, I couldn't."

"Honestly it was hard for me. How about you come sleep with me?"

"That sounds amazing." 

"Alright then, let's go." I took Trixie's hand as we walked to my room. Trixie sat on the bed as I changed into something for bed. I turned around and chuckled when I saw Trixie staring at me. "What are you looking at?"

"You?"

"Well, why?"

"Because I think you're beautiful." I shook my head as I laughed. 

"Hush and lay down." Trixie laid on her side of the bed and pulled the covers over her. I crawled into bed next to her and pulled her into my arms. 

"Katya?"

"Yes Trix?"

"Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"Wanting to be with me?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I have so much wrong with me. I sit have nightmares and anxiety attacks. I let my demons get the best of me, I let them pull me under."

"Baby, there is nothing wrong with you. I think you are great just the way you are. When you have nightmares, I'll hold you tighter. When you are having an anxiety attack, I'll sit with you. And when those demons get the best of you, I'll be there to hold you up and let you know that I love you and everything about you." I heard Trixie sniffle as she chuckled. "Are you crying?" 

"Yeah."

"Why are you crying silly?"

"Because Katya, you have no idea how good you are to me. You have no idea what it means to me. I have been treated like shit for as long as I can remember. I always felt like that is what I deserved, what I was supposed to get out of life. Then you come along and change that, you changed my view of life and how I live. It got so hard holding on, I didn't feel like I had a reason to but you changed that for me. I am so thankful to you and I just don't feel like I'll ever be able to repay you." I lifted Trixie's chin and kissed her softly. 

"You already did. Trixie, you still breathing is payment enough for me. That day I came home and saw you in a puddle of your own blood,  it scared me. My heart shattered when I saw you. Today, scared me Trixie. I never want to see you in any pain. You mean so much to me, so much that it scares me to think that I could lose you. Your happiness is payment Trixie, you letting yourself be happy. You letting yourself relax and be alive is enough for me and that will never change." 

"I love you Katya."

"I love you Trixie. Now we need to get some sleep, I'm sure my mother has a lot she wants to do tomorrow."

"Okay."

"I'll be right here, all night Trixie. I promise you that." Trixie nodded her head as she got comfortable. She grabbed my hand as she closed her eyes. I kissed Trixie's head as I ran my fingers through her hair, it was a task I had mastered. The fastest way to get Trixie to sleep was to play with her hair, I figured that out maybe the second night she slept with me. I did it on a whim but her body relaxed as soon as my fingers came into contact with her hair.

I was ready for this, ready to love Trixie. It's not like I wasn't doing that already but now I could without having to wonder if she wanted my love or not. She was my girlfriend now, so it was my job to love her. I was ready to take away the pain so many others had caused her, ready to heal all her wounds, and ready to treat her like she was meant to be treated. I wanted to give her all of the happiness in the world so that she would never be sad another day in her life. I would love and protect Trixie with everything I had in me. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to.


	28. Trixie(end)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "For?"
> 
> "Our new start, our new life together?"
> 
> "I would like to think so."

Trixie's POV  
*five months later*

"Trixie, baby?"

"Yea?"

"Would you stop staring and come in here?" Katya came walking down the steps of our new apartment building and grabbed my hand. "What's up? We've been moving things in for the past mouth baby."

"I..I still get surprised and shocked that this is happening."

"Us moving?"

"Well, yeah. It feels like a fairytale." Katya shook her head as she laughed. Katya wrapped her arms around me as we walked into the elevator. 

"So, am I your Prince then?"

"Yes."

"Oh hell yeah!"

"That started as a frog." Katya groaned as she started to tickle me. "Oh no, I'm sorry Katya. I'm sorry."

"You better be." Katya pulled me against her as she smiled. "So."

"So, what?"

"Are you ready?"

"For?"

"Our new start, our new life together?"

"I would like to think so."

"Well, if you need me while I'm gone, just call me and I'll be home as fast as I can, okay? I won't be gone for too long." 

"I'll still miss you." Katya and I walked into our new apartment. She put her arms around me as soon as we walked fit her in. 

"Babe, as soon as I get home we can do whatever you want. How does that sound?"

"It sounds nice."

"Good. I will be home in three hours, then I'm all yours." Katya kissed the top of my head and grabbed her keys. She rushed out of the apartment but blew me a kiss before she closed the door. I took a deep breathe as I unpacked some of the leftover boxes. Katya and I moved, we actually did it. I didn't see a point in it at first but Katya told me she had been thinking about it for a while. She wanted me to have a fresh start. There was so much that Katya wanted for me that I never thought of. I remember the whole conversation that we had about three months ago. I was busy giving Red and Luna their baths, when she came walking into the bathroom. "Hey baby."

"Oh hey Katya." Katya kissed my cheek and sat next to me on the floor. 

"So whatcha doing?"

"What does it look like you dork? They were playing in the kitchen while I was ran to use the bathroom. I had some cake batter sitting on the counter and they knocked it over, it got all in their fur."

"Nasty."

"Yeah but what did you need?"

"Why do you think I need something?"

"Because of the way you 'hey baby'."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"When you want something, I can tell in your greeting."

"Trixie."

"What?"

"Stop that." 

"Stop what?"

"Just being smart, stop it for one hot minute." I shook my head and rinsed bubbles off of Red as I giggled. 

"Okay, continue."

"Alright, well since shit doesn't get past you, I want us to move."

"What?"

"I want to move baby. You know, live in a new place."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"You got me there I guess, but Katya come on. Why?"

"I dunno baby, I just I want a fresh start with you."

"Katya.."

"Trixie, I know living in this building hurts you. There are too many bad memoirs here. You told me how you felt trapped for so long here, like a bird with her wings clipped. Trixie, I don't want you to live with that feeling in the back of your mind. So, let's do it."

"Katya, where would you even want to move?"

"I already picked a place. It is a nice apartment complex on the upper part of the east side. There is an amazing view of the city too." 

"Katya, I don't want you to have to move because of me."

"Well, how about you move because of me then?"

"I'm really not winning this, am I?"

"I don't think so baby."

"Fine Katya, fine." 

"Hell yeah! I'll go call Kim and tell her."

"Kim? What does she have to do with this?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? She is gonna be two doors from us. Bye babe." Katya kissed me and ran out of the bathroom. After a few minutes, I heard her and Kim on the phone. That very next day, Katya was busy packing boxes and getting ready for the 'big move' as she called it. She took me to see the place two days after she asked me. It was such a nice apartment but Katya made it nicer. Every single day she would tell me how excited she was to do this.

Truth be told, I was happy we moved. Yeah, I was a bit unsure at first but I am unsure of almost everything. I forced myself to always expect the worse from people and that is why I never really trusted things. But Katya made that hard to do. From the first day we met, she wanted a friendship. She wanted to get to know me and build up a connection with me. I couldn't help but feel a need to trust Katya, no matter how much I told myself not to in the beginning. While waiting for those three hours to pass, I put away some of the things we hadn't gotten to get. After that, I laid on the sofa and closed my eyes. I was tired, and just needed a bit if rest. "Trixie, Trixie. Baby?" I opened my eyes to see Katya kneeling down in front of me. "Fell asleep waiting for me?"

"I guess I did." I sat up as I yawned. "What time is it?"

"A little after 8. You want something to eat?"

"Uh sure."

"Pizza sound good?"

"It does."

"Okay, good because that's what I got." Katya stood up and walked to the kitchen. "You got a good bit of stuff done while I was gone."

"Yeah, I needed something to do."

"Don't you always?"

"Shut up. So, are you gonna tell me where you went now?"

"I could but I'm not."

"Why?"

"Because I'm sure you could guess."

"Huh?" Katya pointed to something large, wrapped in some type of brown paper. "What is that?"

"Go open it." I stood up and walked to the large object that was leaning against the door. I looked at it some more before picking it up. Katya walked back into the living room with a piece of pizza in her mouth. She sat mine down on the coffee table as she sat down. "Well, go on." I ripped the paper away and gasped when I looked at what revealed. It was a painting of me. I was leaning against one of the washing machines in our old building. My hair was in a bun with pieces falling, framing my face. I was wearing a pink sweater with skinny jeans. I was smiling, because of something Katya had said. Which was nothing new at this point. 

"Katya..what?"

"It is a painting I started the night we met. I couldn't get you out of my head after we spoke. This is what I was painting when you called me the next day. I tried sleeping, but that crap didn't work. So I got up and just painted what was on my mind, which was you. I painted my favorite thing about you from the start, your smile. But this whole time I have been wondering what you were smiling about, but I just can't remember."

"I know what it was." I brought my eyes to meet Katya's as I smiled."You called me beautiful."

"Well, you are. Bareface and messy hair, my favorite way to see you."

"But this still doesn't explain where you went."

"I had to go get a frame for it because I want to hang up."

"Why?"

"For those days when you less than less beautiful. With this you can just see yourself through my eyes." I set the painting to the side and sat in Katya's lap.

"You are everything I've ever wanted." Katya put her hand on my cheek as she smiled. 

"I will never stop being that either." Katya wrapped her arm around me as she wiped one of my tears away. "I promise." 

"I know you won't." The rest of our night was spent just sitting on the sofa, watching movies. Katya held me the entire time and when I felt myself getting sleepy, she put my head in her lap. I didn't look for some fairytale love story in my life, I didn't think they existed. So I thought it was a waste of time, but even though I didn't for one..I still got it. "Katya?"

"Yeah babe?"

"I love you." Katya chuckled and kissed my head. 

"I love you too baby." 

"Can I be honest?"

"Always."

"You remember that day five months ago, when Mike was trying to make me go with me?"

"Yeah?"

"I never told you but you being on the phone with me, it made me feel safe." Katya smiled as she played with my hair.

"That is my job baby, to make you feel safe."

"You do an amazing job at it Katya."

"I'm glad I do." I closed my eyes as I sighed. I was happy with where I was in life, I was happy with who I was with. I've never been able to say that before but then again I had never had Katya before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💕This is the end of this story. I have really enjoyed writing this story, even if it was hard to at times. But I hope you all enjoyed it and please remember to never settle for less. Or as Trixie Mattel says, know your worth and demand three times that.💕


End file.
